(Closed) Bridesmaids Drama once AGAIN

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2647 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Sunshine1011:  Doesnt sound like there is much friendship left.She reallydoesn’t sound like much of a friend to you. I’d ask her to step down ASAP. I wouldn’t replace her either- fewer bridesmaids=less drama!!!!

Post # 5
Hostess
11619 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Just tell her the truth, it doesn’t seem like she’s into it and you get the feeling that she’s super busy, so you wanted to let her bow out gracefully, no hard feelings. 

Post # 6
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m wondering about your expectations.  A Bridesmaid weekend?  That is totally unnecessary and a time sucker for people.  You also have a  facebook bridesmaids conversation?  Is this a special page just for you and the BMs?  If so, I’m already thinking you have some unrealistic expectations of your BMs.

In this post you discuss having other problems and drama with your BMs.  http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/help-bridesmaid-drama-1#axzz2TRqtOfox

Bridesmaid weekends, losing other BMs, and constant Bridesmaid or Best Man drama makes me ask if you aren’t asking too much of them or demanding too  much of their time.

If I had a choice between a fun weekend of my choosing and a bridesmaid weekend, I’d be choosing my fun weekend too.  Why on Earth is this necessary?  You are asking for too much of their time here.

Post # 7
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Sunshine1011:  In all honesty and I’m not trying to be nasty at all: This girl is not your friend. If anything it is kind of embarassing for you to think someone who doesn’t act like your friend and talks about you to other people even wants to be in your wedding.

 

You don’t need an awkward conversation, just say “hey, I kind of get the vibe that you are no longer interested in being in the wedding. I totally understand and support it if you would just like to attend as a guest. No hard feelings” This way the ball is in her court and you give the her the option to opt out.

 

* Also, some advice : You should have never “replaced” your friend in the first place. You don’t need numbers and bodies to stand beside you but rather those that have been there as friends and supporters that you couldn’t imagine saying “I do” without

Post # 10
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

@SmthngBlu8:  I like your response to this.  Just come out and tell her that she has the option to not be a bridesmaid.  You don’t want anymore akwardness between you too at work.

Post # 11
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

@Sunshine1011:  I never called you bridezilla and I wasn’t rude.  I planned both of my weddings completely by myself because they were my responsibility.  There was a LOT of DIY included in that.  When brides think bridesmaid weekends are necessary to work on DIY, connect with their bridesmaids, and let the girls get to know each other they are expecting too much and maybe she lied to you because she felt you wouldn’t take it well if she just said she wasn’t going.  We only know one side of the story here.

If they are your bridesmaids you are already connected to them.  They do not need to give up their weekends off to help with DIY and get to know each other.  You may have thought this was a great idea, but it really is asking a lot.

You said in your OP, “A couple of months ago, I walked into a room at work and heard her talking about me behind my back. I was very upset but never confronted her because I have had so much bridesmaid drama I didn’t want to deal with it. Now she doesn’t talk to me outside of work, and barely talks to me at work. She’s always making b**chy comments towards me about small things. She never texts me back or responds to my questions on my facebook bridesmaids conversation.”

Something has made her change entirely towards you if she will no longer talk to you outside of work, barely talk to you at work, and she won’t respond to your emails and FB messages.  You have chosen to bury your head in the sand and not ask or confront her about her change in behavior towards you.  Maybe you should go to lunch and ask her what is up? Just because you are the girl wearing the white dress doesn’t mean you may not have anything to do with what is going on.

Post # 12
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Sunshine1011:  Good, I’m glad you didn’t take that in nasty way, cause that is not what was intended. Though harsh, it was truly meant to support,

Everything is a learning experience, so don’t beat yourself up.

And, let go of your worry of making things awkward. If I’m not mistaken, things are already awkward? If anything I think it is tension relief and admirable to acknowledge that something needs to be said.

Post # 14
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Sunshine1011:  Drop her and leave your wedding the way that it is. 

Post # 15
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Sunshine1011:  You don’t owe her an explanation. Its your day so you have people around you who want to be there. 

Post # 16
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Sunshine1011:  Don’t feed into the drama. It appears, that’s all this girl is! No matter what you say she will try to make you feel bad or be a b**ch about it.

 

You don’t want somone like that in your wedding anyway. You already apologized. Tell her you are sorry she took it that way but that’s not how it was intended. Let her be all dramatic. Really does suck that you have to work with her! 

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