(Closed) Bridesmaids Dress Drama

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I asked my girls what their budgets were FIRST (individually, and privately) before selecting any dresses.

Since my BM’s are all different sizes, shapes, and styles, I ended up picking a color and letting them choose their own style/length/fabric.

I have had ZERO drama so far 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I 100% agree that it’s the bride’s day. As a bridesmaid, you only have to wear the dress for a total of, what, 10 hours? It doesn’t kill you.

That said, we are in our mid-20s and several of my BMs are just making ends meet financially, so I couldn’t stomach the idea of asking them to buy an expensive dress. I am letting my 6 BMs pick out their own dresses. I gave them a color palette and told them to all wear nude heels, but that’s it… And two of them have already found dresses under $50, which makes me so happy. I’m pretty non-confrontational so that avoided a lot of drama too, since the BMs are all different heights and weights so they have found different dresses that look good on them.

If it’s creating too much drama you could consider doing that – but I understand the feeling of wanting a matching wedding with coordinated Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. Go with what your heart wants 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I wanted to give my girls the freedom to choose their own dresses however fi says I’ve given them too much freedom and now their walking all over me (well 2 of my 4 maids anyways). This weekend I cracked down, selected a dress and thats that… Suck it up ladies!  Mwahahaha!!

Post # 6
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Pappy8:  What is with FIs and getting into the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress mess? I originally told my girls just to find whatever dress they wanted in blue (I didn’t care what shade, just not navy or neon). Fiance said they had to match the exact shade, so that locked them into $99-$170 for a dress pre-alteration that they’ll never wear again. I still let them do whatever one they wanted from DB in cornflower blue.

I haven’t had drama, except my SIL (who jumped our wedding with her own) picked out a total “come and get it” dress and now I just found out DB totally screwed up the alterations on one BM’s dress so it’s very short and apparently the color washes her out so she’s tanning (I couldn’t get her down with the others when we were looking at swatches). If she’d told me about the alterations sooner, not the week of the wedding, I’d borrowed a bridezilla hat and gone ape on DB and made them fix it for free. Now I doubt there’s time and the Bridesmaid or Best Man declined that offer.

Post # 7
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@emilikins:  Haha. I’m actually kinda glad Fi stepped in because another bm of mine told me the same thing (about these other bm’s of mine). One of my bm is Fis sister and she’s normally super sweet butevery dress I’d pick, she didn’t like and would tell me it’s so “farm”… And then she found a white dress that she almost bought. Fi helped me to open my eyes and to pick a dress that I liked.

Post # 8
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I asked my BM’s their budget. I kept the dress at $99. I picked out the dress for all the BMs. Both my friends liked the dress and were content. FSIL complained about not having straps so I picked out a haulter. She complained again, so I changed to spaghetti straps. She continued to complain months later about the dress, but I have stuck to my guns. Fiance requested everyone match, I agree, and I did enough to accomodate her when my other BM’s were ok from the beginning.

Post # 9
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

One of my girls (L) has said the only way she “can” try dresses on is if I drive to her and go with her, because L isn’t driving the hour and a half to my hometown, where myself AND 5 of my 7 bridesmaids are currently living… This is ALSO L’s hometown and she has family here, she has previously said she’ll be here in a couple weeks for her birthday, but apparently she ‘can’t’ try on dresses with the rest of the girls during that time (she’ll be here for over a week) and the only way she can try anything on is if I come to -her- and go to a bridal shop in the city she’s going to school… or else she can go to one of the shops there and send pictures of what she tries on.

The thing is, the wedding isn’t until July, 2013!!! So, between NOW and 14 months from now- she won’t be home at all and has NO time to try on dresses with the rest of the girls, at the bridal shop we have decided upon? =

How “bridezilla” is it of me to expect my girls to cater to me JUST a little bit, in traveling the distance and making the time to come try on and help pick out bridesmaid dresses?

I am letting them help pick out about half a dozen dress choices, and I’ve selecting a few colors for them to choose from (peacock colors)- I’m letting them pick their choice of dress from our list of top picks, and even their favorite color choice!

Heck, one of my girls is in KOREA until March, and even she has been looking online and emailing us a couple dresses she’s found!

 

I haven’t said anything to L yet… FI is about ready to kick her out of the the bridal party. She’s been one of my best friends since the 7th grade, and I would hate to have to do anything THAT drastic… =(

Post # 10
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Provided you have asked them individually for budgets, and adhere to the lowest common denominator, you have every right to just choose a dress and tell them your choice.  They don’t need to be there when you pick it out. 

Post # 11
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My girls did complain a lot. I asked all of them about budget and I asked my plus size bridesmaid if there was a silhouette that she prefers when she shops for dresses. I then sent out a lot of dress options and got a lot of negative feedback. Finally I found the dress that I originally loved (but thought might be out of our price range), asked one person’s opinion, and then told them that this was the dress. They all bought it and loved it. After that I had one bridesmaid who still made a little bit of a fuss right before the wedding, but I think she was just stressed out from pharmacy school. 

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