Post # 1
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
Ladies. So I have a question for you. I have 5 bridesmaids. I pretty much did the planning and work alone (I had no shower and I simple bachelorette at one of their houses – potluck style, no going out) and they’ve been wonderful but I haven’t ‘put them to work’ if you will. When I asked them to be in my bridal party, I took them all out to a fantastic restaurant and paid the whole tab ($500+) and for the bach. I wrote them all a really nice card and got them earrings…. here’s the question: on the wedding day, do I have to get them a final gift? Would it be weird if I did/didn’t at this point? Let me know your thoughts!
Again – they are wonderful, and I love them, but I ask as our budget is quite stretched and I’ve already gifted them items… would they be weird if all they got was a thank you card and perhaps something small like a box of chocolate? Is that tacky??
Post # 2
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
Also wanted to mention I’m paying for their hair + make up on the wedding day…. does that make a difference in this situation? Can’t tell if I’m being tacky….
Post # 3
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
I’d get them something small. I’m paying for my girls’ everything (hotels, hair/makeup, dresses, etc.) and not having a shower or bachelorette and getting them (I believe) matching purses (nothing too expensive) with different things in them, like mini champagne bottles and what not, and compact mirrors with their initials engraved on them.
Post # 4
Member
46647 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I still think it would be nice for you to get them a gift expressing your appreciation for their standing up with you. The fact that you are paying for hair and makeup is irrelevant. That’s your choice. I assume that they are still paying for their dress, shoes etc.
If the budget is tight get them one thoughtful item each, instead of a bag of junky lttle items that they will never use. Shop for each girl as if it were her birthday.
Post # 5
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
I would absolutely give them a gift to show your appreciation for them taking the time to be a part of your wedding. I think it would be weird not to thank them in anyway on this very important part of your life.
Post # 6
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
FabBride2016: I think you have gotten them quite a bit already, but a card and a small box of chocolates wouldn’t hurt. It would be a nice gesture.
Post # 7
Member
1790 posts
Buzzing bee
Thats not tacky at all! The wedding I was in I didnt even get a verbal thank you, or text. Let alone a present. You are very generous to pay for the hair and stuff too, I remem er how expensive that is.
Post # 8
Member
3847 posts
Honey bee
FabBride2016: I tend to think of their hair and make-up as a gift, so I would count those. Get them a card with a heartfelt note in each and then a small token and call it a day.
Post # 9
Member
2698 posts
Sugar bee
FabBride2016:
I would do something small just to avoid any drama or tell them hair/make-up is their gift. I would be very happy with a card and hair/make-up! That’s very generous.
I was in my friends wedding and she bought our dresses for us as our thank you gift. Not a ‘present’ really, but it took a cost off of us so it was appreciated. (we were also responsible for the alterations, the bride just paid for the dresses).
Post # 10
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
FabBride2016: Paying for their hair and makeup IS a gift. My bridesmaids were shocked when I said I was paying for their hair, they’re not expecting anything more.
Post # 11
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
I’d get them a small something, or maybe even just a handmade card detailing how happy you are they’re with you, why you love them, etc. It doesn’t have to be expensive or big, just thoughtful.
Post # 12
Member
13290 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I would get them a gift. All the bridesmaids are supposed to do are buy the dresses and show up clean and sober at the wedding. Everything else is above and beyond. You’ve been very generous with them, but no one forced you to take them out for a $500 meal.
I also do not consider hair and makeup to be part of the gift. They’re getting it done for your wedding, not for themselves. It’s for your benefit, not theirs, so it’s not really a gift.
Post # 13
Member
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
FabBride2016: Honestly, I think it depends on your social circle/culture. If it’s common for your friends to purchase their own dresses, hair/make-up, shoes, jewelry, etc., then a nice card and/or a small gift will probably suffice. In my culture, the bride is expected to pay for accommodations, hair/make-up, dresses, jewelry, shoes, transportation, and any other wedding related expenses (I didn’t do a bachelorette or shower, planned/made everything myself), so I ended up spending about $100 on each bridesmaid gift.
Post # 14
Member
5951 posts
Bee Keeper
FabBride2016: I think it’s fine. You are paying for their hair & make up and have already got them a gift at the bachelorette.
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