(Closed) Bridesmaids fiscal obligations question?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

1. It sounds like the shower is covered, so you don’t have to worry about it. 

2. If they’re not coming to the thing that you want to ask them to pay for, I personally think that’s a little inappropriate. If they wanted to help out financially, they would have. (Unless I’m reading this wrong…)

Post # 4
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think only the people who will be there should be paying for the beach weekend.  Other BMs would expect to pay if they were going, but will probably freak out if you ask for money.

Post # 5
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Plus, bridesmaids don’t really have any fiscal obligations, except maybe the dress/shoes. 

Post # 6
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

1. Might be regional, but I’ve never known there were supposed to be separate showers from the bridesmaid’s shower and a family shower- I’ve ever only just been to one per bride, so I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to skip planning another one.

2. Honestly, I don’t think they should feel obligated to help financially when they won’t be at the bachelorette party. If they know the cost and offer, great, but I don’t think you should ask them.

I think it’s great that you’re so excited for your friend and making her wedding and even the planning process so special for her though!

Post # 8
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@elimel123:I understand what you’re saying. If I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man and got asked to chip in, I might feel obligated since if you asked you must want help… just my two cents though 🙂 You know these girls better than we do, so if you think they won’t feel that way, then it might be okay to just ask 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1525 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t ask them to help unless they were going…

Post # 9
Member
1525 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t ask them to help unless they were going…

Post # 10
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Are there other people coming to the bachelorette or just the 3 of you? If there are other girls coming, why not ask them to pay a small fee? For a wedding I was in recently each girl who came to the bachelorette contributed $30 with the bridesmaids paying a bit more and with the extra cash we were able to have a really fantastic night!

Post # 11
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I think it depends on a few things. Were all the BM’s in on the planning of the batchelorette? Why aren’t they coming? If it was a group decision, it shouldn’t matter if they come or not, but I would think they should still chip in minus the amount of the rental. Many of these pre-wedding festivities are handled differently, depending on most peoples’ experiences.

I think the planned shower is enough, so I wouldn’t worry about doing another one yourself.

Post # 13
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Colonial Country Club, Ft. Myers, FL

Personally, if I wasn’t able to make it to the batchelorette/shower, I’d still contribute financially. Its not fair to the BM’s doing all the manual labor and paying for everything.

Its also not fair to the bride. She may be dissapointed that some of her girls aren’t going to be there, but at least you’d be able to tell her everyone chipped in. She’d be happy knowing that though they aren’t there in person, they thought enough of her to pay for the booze, or the food, etc.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It sounds like the other bridesmaids might have opted out of the beach weekend because of the cost, so I’m not sure its wise to ask them for money. I think it would end up making it awkward for the all involved. I think it’s asking a lot of anyone to do a destination bachelorette party, so I can understand how the other bridesmaids decided to not attend. I think it’s really sweet of you to do what your friend wants, but I don’t think you can expect the other girls to pay for it. good luck!

Post # 15
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

If you are hard up, maybe ask them to contribute to the bride’s portion.  I would feel uncomfy about asking for anything but this might be an easier way to ask.

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