- 3 years ago
Use this thread to vent about any bridesmaid drama/frustrations!
I have 4 bridesmaids. 2 of them (my MOH and 1 bridesmaid) are great. I think I’m a pretty relaxed bride, I don’t really ask anything of them and always try to work around everyones schedules. I’m making the majority of my decor but don’t ask them for help with this, it’s something I do with my FI. My dress is custom made and I’m not the “bride” type so I didn’t require them to come out to bridal shops and watch me try on dresses.
But alas, I have 2 bridesmaids who have been less than helpful, actually just creating stress because of their lack of communication.
BM1: Lets call her Jill. It’s her personality to be overwhelmed by everyday tasks, so I generally give her more time to mull things over. Once in a while I send out an e-mail to the entire wedding party just asking a question about something. Everyone responds except Jill. I’ll give her 1-2 weeks to respond and then I get frustrated, so I’ll text her (no response), and then Facebook her (no response). Finally after several weeks I’ll text her again and say “Hey, what’s going on?” and she’ll finally reply saying she’s “super behind” on things. So Jill lives alone in a small bachelor apt. she has no pets and a regular 9-5 mon-fri job as an administrator. (Just wanted to give insight on her day to day life)
Jill went away for the weekend, came back and because she wasn’t at home for those 2 days she was overwhelmed and “Behind” all the things she needed to do, so she’s still behind now (2 weeks later). Behind on what? I’m not sure. She has cancelled on me for the following reasons: She has to apply for a job online (takes her a whole day), she has to do laundry, her grandparents are visiting, she has to go have dinner with her parents (she sees her parents every week). I still do not get mad at her, I get that her personality is really different from mine and she gets frazzled easily.
But it’s frustrating none the less. I need her to respond faster. She gives me the excuse that her cell phone sometimes doesn’t get messages, and she needs to get a new one. I texted her a question about whether we were going to meet for dinner, she didn’t reply, yet she sent a different unrelated message to me. So I asked her if she got my previous 2 messages and she said yes, but it’s difficult for her to text back during work. Hmmm.
This isn’t a money thing, I require very little financially of my girls and she isn’t a broke girl. We have a meeting on Sunday, she had said she was coming. I messaged her and told her that I expect her to be there and to be at my house at a certain time so I could drive her. If she doesn’t come, would it be wrong of me to really have it out with her? So far I’ve told her I understand she gets overwhelmed, offerend my assistance to help HER with anything she might need and haven’t gotten mad at her. But now I need her to stop being so flakey!
BM2: Lets call her Betty. Betty is ok, she is just kind of weird. Generally very personable but when we do bridesmaids stuff (like go out so that the girls can try on dresses) she gets all quiet. So all the girls bought their dress except for Betty. She sent me a message one day showing me a different dress from the one she initially tried on and we gave approval for (the girls all get different dresses). I said yes she could buy the new dress and she said she’d order it that day and that she wouldn’t be putting it on the same order as the other 3 girls because she might need alterations. OK? When Jill and I went to get her dress (she for whatever reason didn’t order with the other 2 girls, so I struggled with lots of cancellations to get her back to the store to order) and while there I asked the staff if there was an order for Betty under her name. No order placed. I was told by my MOH that Betty said she was ordering online, so lets hope that’s true!
She’s also really frugal that it can be annoying. Not because she doesn’t have money but because she’s just frugal. That’s fine, but it’s annoying because my FI and I give her and her partner things all the time, we invite them for dinner, we drive them around we are very giving. She’s the type of personality that I doubt she’ll bring anything to my bridal shower, not even a card. For example she went to a friends wedding (and planned her vacation around it and travelled around the country) and didn’t even give the bride/groom a card, she said her presence was gift enough. Which I personally think is kind of crappy. But ah well, that’s personal preference.
Anyways, just wanted to vent! Wedding is in 3 months so hopefully these gals get it together!!!
If I could go back in time I would just elope, or just have a MOH and Best man and that’s it. I’m trying to be a very relaxed bride because I do not intend on getting stressed out. I find adding all these other people to the mix is what causes the stress. If brides/grooms could just plan their weddings without any outside noise there would be fewer bridal catastrophes.
Vent away ladies!!