Bridesmaids' gift

• whoami
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: September 2017

prip02 :  I don’t know that I would be offended…I would just think it was weird that you hadn’t paid for it in the first place and figured you forgot about gifts or couldn’t be bothered.

• skunktastic
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: June 2015

prip02 :  Yeah, it’s a good gift – it’s essentially what I did – but just take care of it up front if it’s not too late, rather than giving them a check later.  A check would make me feel awkward, like I was getting paid for my ‘work’ that day or something, rather than a heartfelt thanks.  

• julies1949
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s a great idea to pay for their dress, but I would send that check now. The money will be of more use before the wedding than after.

• Jacqui90
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: April 2019

Paying for their dress is not a gift, particularly since it’s a requirement for YOUR wedding! Pay for the dress anyway and either just give them a thank you card or a card and a gift.

• barbie86
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: August 2014

Agree with PPs, I would just pay for the dresses upfront so they don’t have to shell out cash in the first instance. 

Then on the day give them a nice, personal card and perhaps something small and personal to them (like their favourite drink/chocolate for example). 

• fran01
• 3 years ago

Pay for the dress and give a nice card thanking them for being your bridesmaid. That’s what I would appreciate 🙂 if they have already paid then cheque is ok, but send sooner rather than at the wedding 

• skunktastic
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: June 2015

Jacqui90 :  just want to point out that in a place like the states, where the expectation is for the bridal party to purchase their dresses (with or without liking them), yes paying for the dress is a gift.  Requirements for gifts have really gotten out of hand in recent years. It used to be the norm to get your wedding jewelry or a matching clutch and was not considered “not a gift” just because it was used at the wedding.

in my own circumstances, for example, I gifted the dress/crinoline, saving each person $140. That’s a better present than having them spend that amount and buying a $50 bracelet they don’t want as thanks.  All in perspective… I think those ubiquitous robes are gifts too 🙂

• Jacqui90
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: April 2019

skunktastic :  oh I am aware that in many places it is customary for the bridesmaids to buy their attire. Even if the bridesmaids buy their dresses I wouldn’t think paying for their hair or makeup or buying the shoes or something that essentially can only be used/worn for the wedding is a gift. I don’t think gifts need to be expensive, it could be something small like homemade fudge or a box of chocolate, but something for the wedding is not a gift in my opinion.

Bridesmaids gifts are to thank them for being bridesmaids, to thank them for being in the wedding and supporting the bride, right? Then how is it thanking them for being in the wedding when it’s what they’re wearing/using in the wedding and only for the wedding?

• skunktastic
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: June 2015

Jacqui90 :  I know what you are saying (and I definitely think requiring hair/makeup and specific shoes is bull) however it looks like it comes down to personal preference.  As in the scenario from my wedding, which would you rather have?  $140 still in your pocket and a new dress that you can maybe wear again but probably won’t, or -140, a new dress you can maybe wear again but probably won’t and $10 worth of chocolate?  I know what I’d prefer!  If it’s really about heartfelt thanks, a card with a note is the way to go, not any of the other options, really.

• Jacqui90
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: April 2019

skunktastic :  well it depends on the personal situation as much as anything but if I expected to pay for the dress and planned for that expense I wouldn’t mind spending it. I might appreciate the money more but NOT as a gift. The chocolate however is a gift and I would value the heartfelt note much more as you said. Whether a gift is given or not (I am putting the bride paying for the attire in that last category), the main thing is giving the members of the bridal party cards expressing your appreciation for them and them standing up with you, supporting you. That would mean the most on the receiving end too.