(Closed) bridesmaids money issue. question #2…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Actually $250 is not that bad I think especially considering you are providing shoes, pre-wedding pampering, hair, and accessories. A mani/pedi can run from $25 and up so to be generous if everything you offer is at least $100 each bm is out around $150 if they opted to do everything on their own. When I served, my bm dress alone was a little over $200 so I think its reasonable.

Post # 4
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Nope, sorry. The massage and pedicure are “nice” but not required. For the items you listed I feel like I’d rather you chip in more to cover the dress cost. I told my Bridesmaid or Best Man that they could pick shoes as long as they were silver and strappy for which Payless has some comfy and super cheap options. I am covering hair and of course am giving nice Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts. $450 is an insane amount for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress that they don’t get to pick. My wedding dress cost $750!

Post # 5
4371 posts
Honey bee

If you’re going to pay for the mani/pedi, why don’t you just pay for the dress instead?

Post # 6
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@SoupyCat:  Exactly. If those dresses are that important, then why not just cover them? I’d appreciate that much more than any spa treatment. Especially since the dress you love doesnt look to be, IMO, worth the $450 price tag.

Post # 7
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

As i mentioned on your other post, my girls are paying their dresses and alterations, so around $500.00 all up. I’m paying for everything else, hair, makeup, shoes, bag, a spa day and of course a gift.

I think its ok to have the girls pay $250.00 for these dresses if you are paying for everything else. Maybe you could have the girls choose, you pay for their dresses in total or pay for the ped and med.

Post # 8
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m curious…why are you still even considering the monique lhuillier one? People posted such great alternatives, pretty much exact dupes.

No. If I had to pay that much, and you gave me all that stuff I would be pretty upset. If the dress is really that important to you, you should skip some of that extra stuff and buy the whole dress.

My BM’s paid $30 for their dresses.

Post # 9
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

I agree with a lot of the PPs on this issue. It seems that these particular Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are incredibly important to you, so much so that a more affordable alternative (and there are a plethora of dead-ringers out there!) doesn’t meet your expectations, then I think you should just cover the cost of the entire dress for all of your BMs. At least that’s how I would feel as your Bridesmaid or Best Man. As many have said, $250 is a lot for a dress, $450 is pretty much unthinkable, and even if I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t want to spend that much on a dress I had no say in choosing.

And as others have said, many of the things that you are thinking about comping for your BMs to make the expensive dress cost more manageable are generally considered optional. I don’t think it’s fair to require a Bridesmaid or Best Man to get a massage, mani/pedi, professional hair and makeup, etc. Your BMs could already be planning to opt out of these activities (I know I would), so I don’t think they would make me more comfortable with spending so much on a dress.

If you’re dead set on this dress, you either need to cover the entire $450 for all of your BMs or find out the maximum that the girl with the lowest budget is willing to spend (i.e. $150) and only make each girl pay that.

Post # 10
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@loveyou22:  If you’re willing to pay for all of that, why don’t you put more towards the dresses?  I think they would appreciate that more.

Post # 11
6341 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

Agree with PPs’ If you’re going to pay for manicures, pedicures, massages etc, why not just pay for the dress?

Personally, I’d actually be doubly annoyed at being asked to pay $250 for a dress if the bride then paid for unnecessary extras that I didn’t need.

Post # 12
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m with the PP’s. If you asked me to pay $250 for a dress, the I would be upset if you then paid for extras I don’t need– unless you are also requiring your BM’s to have hair, nails, shoes, jewellery, makeup that you choose.

Personally, I could not afford to be in your wedding, even if I wasn’t planning my own.

Post # 13
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Dude…dude..really?? Here’s what’s gonna happen:

You tell your girls about the dress and the cost and all the stuff you’ll buy if they pay that ungodly amount of money for a short blue dress. The girls (half of which you think will have a problem with) are going to get online and find the same dresses PPs posted. They’ll tell you they look identical.

Why even bother with the $450 dress?

Post # 14
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I saw the dress you want on the other thread and agree that there really is nothing special about it at all. As a bridesmaid, I wouldn’t be happy spending $250 for a dress like that. Yes, you are subsidising $200 out of the $450 dress but that is your choice. You think you are doing them a favour but it isn’t really one, is it as they would never pick it in the first place.

If you can afford to pay for the hair/pedi/mani etc., you can afford to pay for the whole dress. They probably won’t mind paying for their own hair (as that would be cheaper than the dress) and shoes (unless of course, if you pick Jimmy Choos or something). I think you should nix the gift basket and give your bridesmaid the jewelry as a gift.

Post # 15
3150 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

i would see all these extras and wonder why you didn’t just buy the dress.

honestly, i think you’re asking too much. especially since the dresses that were linked in the other post are almost identical! yes, it’s “your” day, but i still wouldn’t want to spend $250 on that dress. brides say they want to pick a dress that can be worn again, but in the end, a bridesmaid dress is a bridesmaid dress and we never wear them again.

save your money and theirs and choose a less expensive option.

Post # 16
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I said earlier I would be ok with paying $250 but I just went back to the thread and saw the dress. Do not give that ridiculous woman $450 for that basic dress. I love clothes, I love to spend money on clothes (even when obviously overpriced) and I cannot fathom how that dress costs $450. Also, do not convince yourself they’ll wear it again. They won’t. It is pretty obviously a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. I would save myself the 1400 and go buy a sick pair of loubies instead.

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