(Closed) Bridesmaids NOT interested???

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My sis who is my Maid/Matron of Honor planned my shower.  No one else has helped with anything. I think it’s normal.

Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My sis who is my Maid/Matron of Honor planned my shower.  No one else has helped with anything. I think it’s normal.

Post # 4
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What is it that you want them to do?  Be upfront with them. 

I wouldn’t expect people to inquire into great detail about your wedding.  They have their own lives and are probably busy.

If you want them to be more involved, try to figure out what you want help with and what they can realistically help with.  Do you just want to talk about your wedding over the phone? Then call them up and chat.  With them being so far away, I would not expect too much.

Post # 5
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I know it seems like the wedding is approaching quickly to you but, to anyone but the bride, 8 months seems like a long time!  I can’t wrap my head around anything happening in the spring yet… we haven’t even started the Holidays!  Most people I know do the majority of their planning without the help of their bridal party.  They get some help but most of it they do themselves.  I think you’ll be fine.

Post # 6
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I never understood this expectation that bridesmaids should be super excited about your wedding. I mean, I understand your excitement because it’s YOUR wedding, but you can’t expect everyone else around you to want to talk about it all the time.

What do you expect of your bridesmaids? That’s what you need to be upfront about. The only things bridesmaids are really required to do is buy the dress and show up. If you want their help with planning, going dress shopping, ect. you need to communicate that to them.

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@eebgniddew: Honestly, at 8 months out I am not surprised that they aren’t asking questions. I am sure that they will be more excited when your wedding date is closer. In the meantime, if there are specific things you would like them to help with or you would like to show them, ask them how often they would prefer updates about it. Then you can send them an e-mail with all of the details/planning you would like them to know about.

EDIT: I didn’t answer the second part of the question. NO I don’t think you should drop them.

Post # 8
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

All the times I’ve been a bridesmaid for long distance friends, I figured my job was to buy the dress and show up on the wedding day. I never once called specifically to ask about wedding planning (esp since that was all they talked about when we did speak) and of course wasn’t nearly as excited or interested as they were about planning. If you have expectations for them in terms of helping you, make sure it is clear to them at the beginning. Otherwise, all they need to do is show up.

Post # 9
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think making your expectations clear is huge, thye may be more interested than you think and jsut worried about stepping on your toes, or may not realize that it is important to you to have them involved. I think if you communicate your interest in their involvement (and be as specfic as possible) there is a good chance that you will see a change in their behavior.

 

Post # 10
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i may be the only one but im not too concerned with how involved my bridesmaids are. i have 5..my sister is the Maid/Matron of Honor and she was great with dress shopping and i if i have questions or need help on decisions she will certainly throw in her two cents but in no way have any of them really been hands on and thats ok with me. a long as they are there to help the few days prior that is all i ask of them.

Post # 11
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

 I wouldn’t go nuts yet. They don’t realize how much goes into a wedding especially if they have never been asked to be a part of a wedding. I would try and send them emails or call with questions and ask there opinions people love to give there opinions!  

Post # 12
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

All that bridesmaids are REALLY expected to do is buy the dress and stand next to you at the wedding.

8 months is still a long way to go, and they’re very far away. If you want them to be more active, maybe you can speak to them and set some expectations with them. What do you want them to do? What do you need help with?

Post # 13
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with all the other bees that talking with them and laying out your expectations from the beginning is key.  That way, they’ll know what YOU expect from them, and then, they hopefully won’t disappoint!

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