- 7 years ago
My two sisters are my bridesmaids and I’m about ‘this close’ to kicking them out all together. They mean well, I think. But they are making my life so much more stressful and complicated than it needs to be.
They have been married for 10 years and they have no time for anything wedding related. They wouldn’t pick out their own dresses so I picked for them. Now they want something different and not at all what I picked. What? Why? I told them I liked gray and they said, “oh for the beach? We need something brighter!” So I picked pink. Cotton. My dress is cotton. Everything is cotton. They want to wear blue silk. Honestly, I don’t even care. Just wear something ladies.
I had to order their plane tickets and reserve their rooms (DW in the Caribbean) for them, their husbands and their four kids. They were supposed to order on their own and then my parents would give them a certain amount to help cover their costs. This was our request to our parents and they agreed to it. I told both of them exactly what would happen. Instead we had to put everything on my Mom’s credit card which is not what we had planned on doing. They were literally never going to order on their own. We never expected them to pay the airfare for 8 people. My sisters seem totally unconcerned by this and one is even taking her family to Disneyland 2 months before the wedding. She can do what she wants but why take Mom’s money if you can afford to go to Disneyland? My mom is frustrated by this but would never say a word. Which makes me irritated with them and feel terrible.
They never told me if the flower girl dress I picked was okay, but one told my mom that she didn’t like it and her daughter wouldn’t wear it. So I sent other options. The other sister said, “You just pick. I don’t care what they wear. It’s YOUR wedding.” Which would be okay but clearly they don’t like the things I pick and will probably just change their minds at the last minute.
I’m ordering their dresses for them. They are too busy to fill out and fax in a form. But they’re also too busy to send me their sizes and measurements…so I can’t order until I have them. Our flight is in 106 days. The bridal shop needs 90 days, plus another 10 of ‘cushion’ time to make and ship the dresses. They have known that I need their sizes and measurements for over a week. They’ve known for over a year that we need 100 days for the dresses. I send them reminders but I’m pretty sure they’re just going to have to run to J. Crew in mid-may and buy a different dress. It really hurts how much they could not care less. I
A girlfriend offered to host a family/friends shower. I asked them if that worked for them or if they had any plans and they both said, “Oh! A shower! Tell us what you want us to do! What kind of shower do you want? We should get planning.” I almost had a nervous breakdown at that point. What bride has time to plan her own shower? They forgot they were supposed to throw me one.
What do I do? They’re being so thoughtless and not even to me but to my parents as well. I think they mean well and I understand their lives are busy. Am I being unreasonable to want them to engage a little? Do most brides do all of this for their bridal party? I’m so much younger than them and they both think I’m silly and immature so no matter what I do they roll their eyes at me and tell me to relax. I’m really starting to resent them and wishing that Fiance and I had just eloped to the beach with our parents by our sides. We could have had a short engagement and intimate wedding without a lot of fuss.