Post # 1
I would like your opinion on whether it would look okay to have my 4 bridesmaids in black knee length dresses that are all different and of their choosing. It was my decision to have them all in different dresses. But my thinking is because all of them have tight budgets (even david’s would be a stretch for 2 of them) I want them the opportunity to purchase a dress at Macy’s, Fashion Bug, or even the thrift store if they could find something cute and classy (yes, on occasion you can get a great find at the thrift store!).
Some of my family have made comments like when they agreed to be in your bridal party they assumed the duties they would have to take part in, like paying for their outfit for the big day. I get that and yes, all my girls did. However, I want them in my party not because they can afford some expensive dress they may wear for 5 hours but because they are important girls to me. I don’t care if they don’t have money. I just want them standing by me.
That being said, one of the bridesmaids suggested we all go to the same store to be sure they all get the same color black, since they all come in different shades. I think this may be a good idea.
But then in addition, my question is how do I go about having the bridesmaids still stand out since they’ll all be in black cocktail dresses, similar to every other female guest. Yes, I was going to get them all matching jewelry and wanted them all to wear the same purple shoe if I can find one I like and works for the girls. But I’m still afraid they will mesh with the guests too much. Any ideas of how to make the girls stand out during the reception. Also my Fiance and I were going to have a sweetheart table and actually have the bridal party sit with their family rather than with the rest of the bridal party (since they don’t all know eachother and we want them to have a good time rather then have to sit in silence or make silly chit chat with someone they don’t know and may not want to know either….not trying to offend anyone here…just our opinoins).
Thanks for the advice!
Post # 3
I think your idea is a good one. I’ve seen this often at weddings and it’s always classy, plus as a serial bridesmaid, I’m sure yours will appreciate the budget-friendly options. Black is so versatile– they probably wouldn’t even have to go to the same store.
Everyone will see your girls standing up during the ceremony. They’ll have bouquets and matching jewelry, shoes– that’s all good. Once the ceremony is over, the need for them to stick out is unnecessary anyway.
Bravo for letting them sit with their friends and family. I’ve sat at a head table with strangers while my SO sat at another table with strangers before. I like your idea much better–that’s what we did too.
And side note, my bridesmaids wore purple dresses of their choosing, different styles from the same store. All of their jewelry was pearl-themed but different. they had different black shoes. The only thing they all had in common was their hair fascinators. It worked just fine! Good luck!
Post # 4
@stressedbride2be: this is exactly what i’m planning to do also!! dresses at macy’s or jcpennys or whatnot, black tea-length, same color shoes, and similar jewelry etc.. 🙂 i agree with Miss Damask that after the ceremony, the girls won’t need to stand out much anyways…
Post # 5
We did this for my brother’s wedding and to make the BMs stand out the bride gave us all matching turquoise wraps. It worked perfectly! Since your girls are wearing purple shoes, maybe you could get them matching purple wraps?
Post # 6
That’s what I’m planning on doing, too. I’m sure almost all my maids already have little black dresses in their closets, and if they want to buy a new one there are a million options out there. I just want them to all feel fabulous so they can be their own supportive wonderful selves!
Post # 7
I think you’re safe with all black dresses – they will look great, even if they go to different stores. No big deal.
Same/similiar jewelry and same purple shoes will go a long way to designate them as BMs. I like the PPs ideas: purple wraps and/or matching fascinators (if they go with the style of your wedding) would be pretty. Or you could have them all wear the same flowers in their hair. Maybe even similar hairstyles if they have similar length hair. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, though. It all sounds great!
Post # 8
I’m so relieved to know other ladies are doing this as well! And I love the matching wrap idea….I’ll have to look up some to see if I can find one that I would love. Thanks ladies!!
Post # 9
My sister let us all pick our own black cocktail dresses for her May 2008 wedding. Everyone got their dresses from different places, all different styles on different ladies and I think it looked great.
Post # 10
First of all, I must commend you on your thoughtfulness. People are right, your bridesmaids do know what they signed up for, but it doesn’t mean they have to break the bank. the ideas for matching jewelry works, as does the idea for wraps, how pretty would that be.
I’m sure people will know they are your bridesmaids simply by their interaction with you. And YOU will know they’re your ‘maids so really, that’s all that matters.
Post # 11
I should have read your explaination before I voted no. I actually really like the idea of different dresses. My 4 girls are about the same height 5’0 – 5’3 and they were the same size so I chose the same dressm but had they had different body types I would have definitely picked a color and said pick a dress. I’m putting a single flower in my MOH’s hair so she has something to set her apart from the rest, maybe you could do that for your girls?
Post # 12
That is exactly what I did for my girls….including purple shoes! I got my girls purple brooches to wear as well, with purple bouquets. They stood out fine, and looked lovely!
Post # 13
Also, now that I think of it….I don’t think any of the other guests wore black cocktail dresses at all! I had a relatively small wedding, so perhaps had there been more guests they would have, but definitely not so many that these ladies would have been overwhelmed.
All the girls picked their own dresses (and at least one used a dress she already had), and the “different blacks” thing was not an issue at all.
Post # 14
@moneypenny02: I loved how your girls looked! Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I will definetly be looking into them!
Post # 15
Assuming they stand up at the front at the ceremony, and you’re having a head table or introducing them at the reception I doubt it will be a problem 🙂 Don’t worry too much.
Post # 16
You might want to tell them Forever 21 is a good option for black cocktail dresses :). I think the matching jewelry along with a bouquet will make them stand out just fine!