Post # 1
I asked a few of the bm to be Bridesmaid or Best Man and they said yes super excited and giggly and made me feel loved.
Today just now i asked a freind ive had a long time. Yes, we have lost closeness, but i feel a love for her and i want her to stand as part of my groups- we have an odd friendship but one of love. Well i called her today and she seemed very taken aback, she said yes, but didn’t say yes in that enthusiasm i had hoped. She also asked what duties were entailed and said becaus she is in the other state over she may not be able to participate in some stuff and didn’tw ant to miss out on things. I dont know if she was trying to insinuate that she couldn’t or didn’t want to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man
i asked her if its inconvenient please let me know and i will not be offened, she said “no no i do want to be a bm i just want to hear about the duties”
after i got off the phone i cried hysterically=i guess i’m just emotioanl i just was so taken aback by her response even though i knew she’d be surprised i guess i’m sad she wasn’t as happy as i hoped she’d be.
just wanted to vent :/
Post # 3
Not everybody will be estatic to be your bridesmaid. You shouldn’t take it personally. They’re still going to be standing beside you and helping you through. When I was asked to be a bridesmaid, I wasn’t over the moon thrilled. Was I happy she asked? Of course I was, but I know some women see being a bridesmaid as being saddled with responsibility for your wedding. I know I felt that way.
Post # 4
@Hyperventilate: thanks for that point of view, i appreciate it
Post # 5
You’re pretty excited, emotions are running way high off the charts. I’d just take a breath, dry your eyes and be happy she didn’t sound repulsed (“Oh dear god no. Why would I do that?“) and know that, at the end of the day, you’re going to have a husband you love and beautiful bridesmaids at your side.
I can understand being a little taken aback. I asked my bridesmaids pretty early on and one of them even gave me a “sure.” with a shrug. I kind of expected it from her, so it really didn’t hurt. No one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are, so I guess that sometimes makes people have unrealistic expectations of how others should react.
Just give yourself a little breather and remind yourself that you’re going to have a beautiful wedding.
Post # 6
@Hyperventilate: thank you so much , i know i will be reading that and rereading that when my emotions run high. it is true, at the end of the day it is about a beautfiul wedding and a husband to begin a life with . People will be excited but not to the level that i am.
Post # 7
it sounds like she is a close friend and is already going to take being a Bridesmaid or Best Man seriously. she doesn’t just want to stand up with you, she wants to make sure she can do a good job of it! that’s actually great. there are many stories on the bee about BMs who didn’t care that much.
I am sure she is excited for you, perhaps anxious since she has a little part in making things go smoothly, but will be a great addition to your ‘team bride’
Post # 8
@doubtingdebbieah: it might be about not wanting to let you down. we’ve all read threads by brides who want their BMs not only to get the dress, but to attend venue searches, brides dress hunt, Bridesmaid or Best Man dress hunt etc
so maybe shes thinking “yes..but i cant make 20 trips to your state and i dont want it to affect the friendship”
it could also be financial. yes, its nice to be asked (for a lot of people) but (in the US) it also comes with buying an expensive dress and whatnot.and people dont always have spare hundreds of dollars lying around
another reason could be social anxiety…scared to stand up in public
so there are loads of reasons she could have reservations, none of them meaning she doesnt care about you!
dont take it to heart!