(Closed) bridesmaids that can’t afford their dress

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 4
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

When I decided what kind of Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I wanted for my ladies, I asked them each, individually and privately, what their dress budget was.  I am looking for dresses that are ok with the lowest budget given to me.  Did you ask them how much they wanted to spend (privately, so no one would be embarrassed to say they can’t afford something)?

As for the hair, make-up, and shoes:  they should not be required to pay for professional hair and make-up; they should be able to wear their own shoes, and if you specify a particular shoe you should pay for it.  Would that help her burden of cost?

Post # 5
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’d pick a less expensive dress, that’s an awful lot to ask of your BMs if you’re not willing to cover for those who are uncomfortable paying that much.

Post # 6
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

That really is asking a lot, especially when you figure in the other costs.

Post # 6
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Are you requiring them to have their hair and makeup done?

While I don’t think $220 is unreasonable for Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I do think that if you are requiring your BMs to have their hair and makeup done that you should pay for it.

Post # 7
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Your sister has a point, if your asking them to have their hair and makeup done and buy new shoes, $220 on top of that could be too much. Since you’re not in a position to help her pay for it, could you ask her to skip giving you a wedding gift in order to cover the cost of the dress and other expenses?

Post # 8
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Are you requiring her to get her hair and makeup done? Or is that a choice she is making?

If you are requiring her (and the other BMs) to get hair and makeup done I’d either pay for that for them, or remove the requirement for them to get it done. That may free up some money for the dress.

$220 is a fair bit for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress though, are there other options?

Post # 9
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Post a picture of the dress and I’m sure we will be able to find a cheaper version of it. Also they shouldnt have to pay for hair and makeup

Post # 10
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Mayybe you should ask all your bridesmaids what price they feel comforable in paying for a dress after they factor in all the other stuff they will have to pay for too. It’s in your best interest to ask them there opinion on this so as not to have too many issues between you all. I have been there with the whole bridemaid dress issues and it nots fun to have angry friends over a dress. Good luck!  

Post # 11
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Well, in my opinion, if you asked them if $220 is too much to pay, and one of the maids said yes, I think you need to find another dress. I don’t think its right to ask that, and then turn around and ask them to buy it anyways. I think its great you are taking their budgets into account.  Ask the girls what they are comfortable paying for a dress and find a dress in that range. To help defray costs, let them wear shoes they already have or just a pick a simple color and let them buy their own shoes. Let them do their own hair/makeup too and that will save money they can put towards the dress. I would be especially sensitive since this is your sister and your Maid/Matron of Honor. Generally a maid of honors incurs more expenses than regular bridesmaids for the shower and bachelorette in my experience. I’d be as understanding as possible.

Post # 12
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with PP’s, if your set on this dress you need to help find a way to make everything more affordable for her.  Makeup and hair should not be a requirement unless you are willing to foot the bill

Post # 13
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d choose a different dress or ask how much she can afford and give her the difference.

Post # 14
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

if you want to keep that dress and you can’t afford to pay for all of your sister’s dress, then you should at least pay the difference between 220 and the cost she can afford.

Post # 15
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think I agree with your sister.  A $220 dress is one thing, but if you are also requiring them to purchase new shoes AND pay for professional hair/makeup its a bit much, considering that they will also be footing the bill for your shower and your bachelorette party…  Being a bridesmaid can be very expensive, so I told my BMs they could wear any shoes they wanted, that they didn’t have to have their hair done and then I paid for their makeup & manis/pedis.  I didn’t want anyone to feel like being a part of my wedding was a financial burden.

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