- 12 years ago
- Wedding: August 2009
Some quick background–I am planning a relatively small budget wedding, partially due to need and partially due to the fact that I can’t justify spending so much on one day. This is leading to me 1. DIY-ing a lot of stuff, which I love because it lets me have really personal touches on everything and 2. finding creative ways to spend less money. I’m making sure not to cut too much on aspects important to the guests having a good time (food, alcohol etc will all be nice stuff!) but on decor, etc, I’m cutting back and doing things my own way.
So I have 5 bridesmaids, and the two of them who live in the same town as me have been really great in helping and going with me to try on dresses, etc. BUT I know from comments they make occasionally, etc, that they kind of think I’m cheap and that the wedding will look cheap because I’m not going the "normal bridal" route. I’m actually happy about it looking different– It won’t look exactly like every other wedding I’ve been to in the past five years!
So I’ve been kind of ignoring the occasional snarky comments and it’s been fine, but now we’re choosing dresses and I’m having a problem with them. I wanted to have the girls get a cute plain little black dress from Target for about $30, dress it up with a sash, and who will know better? It’s a cute dress! I didn’t want it to look really "bridesmaidy" anyway, and I have a couple bridesmaids who are in grad school and don’t have a lot of money to spend on it. These other two girls, though, went out without me and found another dress at JCrew that looks a lot like this dress (of course it’s better quality and all, but…) only about $200 more, and they really want it, and are saying the other one will look cheap. They’ve already told one other (also well off) Bridesmaid or Best Man, and said she’s ok with it, though I’m not sure.
I wanted all the girls in the same dress because it would be (I think) cuter in pics and I just like the look, personally–plus some of my other decor is kinda non-traditional, so I wanted to keep this traditional. But I really don’t feel comfortable asking the other girls to buy this expensive dress, (I think they’d buy it if I asked, and just make it work, but I don’t want to force them to!) but I feel like it might cause more strife with the two girls to make them get the "cheapo" version (or if not strife, more snarky comments that stress me out), so should I just go ahead with the "everyone get whatever tea length black dress you want" thing and suck it up and get over my thought of how it would look? Am I overreacting? WILL it look cheapo to get this less pricey dress? AHH!
Also, these girls are two of my best friends and are not bad people–they’re really nice but just have different ideas than me about whether "nice" needs to mean "expensive."
Thanks! I’ve been lurking around Weddingbee for a while, and it seems like you guys are really good at bridal dilemmas that non-brides don’t really understand. 🙂