Post # 32
I have never heard of a bridesmaid being annoyed that they’ll only have to pay $30 for their dress and actually go out willingly and pick out one that costs hundreds more lol. This is wacky!
You are the bride. Explain to them, don’t name names, that some BMs can’t afford everything they can and that you are trying to be considerate. In the mean time you might actually purchase the target dress, and bring it to J. Crew to compare and see how they look together. If they look okay next to each other.
Post # 33
the target one looks great; I buy clothes because they look good and have a nice fit not because its more expensive- and I still get compliments on my attire whether it’s $10, 425 or 440 or more, I still say go with your gut, sounds like you really want to accomodate your buddies from grad school by all means do, if your bridesmaids aren’t happy then they gitta suck it up; stop bending back to please others, if you want to be considerate of your other friends then go for it
you may have to prepare yourself with the BMs backing out
Post # 34
If you like the dress, then go with the one from Target. They’ll get over it.
But if it bothers you that they think it looks "cheap", I am sure you could another black dress…I know Nordstrom’s always has dresses on sale (and a lot of them are black), also places like banana republic or white house black market have great black dresses and you could order these online, and they are not super expensive and won’t look like traditional black dresses.
Post # 35
I have to say I actuallly like the style of the Target one better and I would say that whether or not I knew the price.
Post # 36
I like he Target dress better too. Just my style, I guess. Out of curiosity, what are the materials?
I’m actually bothered by, " so one of them said (without me suggesting it) "well then, maybe you should just let us wear whatever we want, and if they have to get something cheap they can."". Wow! I think I said it before, but I’ll say it again. this is really coming off snobbish to me. I’m getting the impression, they are going to really look down on these girls. And being discreet? Forget it.
Guest #1: "So Bridesmaid or Best Man why are all the BMs in two different dresses?"
J Crew Bridesmaid or Best Man: "Well some of us want nice dresses and others are too poor. So they got theirs at Target! (Thunderous laughter).
Other J Crew Bm: "Yeah, Greta thought they were cute. (Gag.) We weren’t going to be caught dead in them."
I’m all for allowing Bms some say in a dress that they have to wear. Too much money? Is the fit all wrong? Need someting a bit more modest? But not this. I would tell them how it is, and to suck it up.
Post # 37
I am kind of annoyed by the thought of the BMs trying to override your decision on this. Hello, you are the BRIDE! Part of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is agreeing to wear what the bride picks!
In this case I might go for emotional honesty and see if they relate to that. I imagine this is causing you some stress and worry when that is the last thing you need! So maybe tell them, nicely ‘Hey, it kind of hurts that you guys are turning down the dress I picked out and wanted.’ Sometimes people respond better when they see what you’re feeling.
Post # 38
I did end up talking to these two BMs (let’s call them E and K)–they were both like, um, ok, but then E called me back a little bit later and was really sweet and said essentially "we did really like that dress but I understand where you’re coming from and I’ll be happy to wear whatever you want." So that really made me feel a lot better, and though K hasn’t said this same thing (and she’s the one who’s been making most of the snarky comments) E also told me that K’s father-in-law has been having some health problems lately and she might just be stressed about it. SO, although honestly (sadly) this whole thing isn’t completely out of character for her, she’s really not a bad person or anything, and I’m hoping that it will blow over. Argh- why do weddings seem to turn things that should really not be drama into such a big mess?
I have pretty much decided that I do want them all in the same dress for reasons lots of you have mentioned (the nicer dress is obviously nicer when compared to the not so nice dress, but either is fine on its own) and we’re exploring some other options, like White House Black Market (still more $ than I think is completely comfortable for the other girls, but closer to a good price range) and "fancying up" the Target dress somehow.
I’ll let you know what happens!
Post # 39
if they are so stuck on the other dresses, (and i doubt that they would say yes to this) tell them that they can foot the bill for the other dresses. That would piss me off to no end, as I can barely afford a target dress, lol. I’m trying to help out the BM’s and go with a cheaper (not lower quality, just reasonably priced) dress that they can wear again, so it’s not a waste of money. So I’m hoping for under 100! I’m pretty annoyed that the last wedding I was in, she picked this total bridesmaid dress, and it’s purple (i hate purple to no end!), and I have no idea when I can wear it again, oh wait, yea i do, NEVER!
Post # 40
If they think inexpensive = cheap make them read the 2000 dollar budget wedding blog or Offbeat Bride. I’d be tickled pink over a $30 dress. You do what you like.
Post # 41
I say say yourself the stress and just let them buy whatever LBD they like. They probably even have a nice LBD that they already own!
Post # 42
if it will make them happy and stop the snarky comments tell them all to get the black dress they want, but give the stipulations.
And i do not think that it will look cheap if you just tell them to get the cheaper dress.
Post # 43
I’m being VERY frugal with everything. My wedding is casual/outdoor, fun and bright. I’m having 2 Bridesmaid or Best Man and they can choose a dress of their choosing, I gave them an idea of what I would like. I’m not spending lots of money on decoration or flowers b/c that isn’t what people are going to remember. I wanted to pay for music, food and drinks b/c that is what people will remember, to me. Are the dresses somewhat similar? If they are all black, it should be okay if they don’t all match exactly, let some get the expensive one and the other girls can get the cheaper one. If you add a sash to all of them, you may not be able to tell.
Post # 44
I don’t have a lot of Money to spend on my wedding, either. It’s your wedding. HAve them wear what you want. David’s Bridals offers sashes for $15 to $50. = )
Post # 45
Go with the Target one! My fiance (and others) always tell me to stand up for myself so now I’m saying the same thing to you! Its your day!
Post # 46
my bm dresses where only 20 buck i got them off the rack at jcpennys and I love them and really don’t care what the others think they are lime like I wanted and match the contrasting color of pink perfectly.