(Closed) Bridesmaids Totally Unreasonable! Sad…

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would have a frank discussion and give them a chance again– they are your sisters. Straight up tell them– I don’t want to be Bridezilla, but I feel like I don’t have a choice here. You are both being very difficult and not accomodating at all. I know you might not love the dresses I have chose, but you NEED to wear one because your job, at my wedding, is to stand up, wear the dress, walk up the aisle, walk down the aisle and smile. If you don’t want to wear the dress I have chosen, that is fine, but you won’t be able to be a part of my wedding party. Here is the dress the bridal party is wearing. It costs $88. Are you in or out?

Post # 4
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, it depends.  Are you prepared for the backlash when you ask them to step down and dis-include them from your wedding?  They will likely be upset.  If I did this to my sister, it would basically end any relationship we have since she’d be so hurt by it.  It’s the most important day of your life, and you should be supported by your family.  That being said, have you tried to sit down with your sisters and talk about how their behavior is upsetting you?  You can outline all the points you made here calmly and have an adult conversation that doesn’t involve snappy comments, name calling, or leaving stores out of anger and frustration. 

Post # 5
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it won’t go well…

it took me a breakdown and a few tears to get my mom to start being helpful and quit procrastinating.. wasn’t pretty but hey, maybe getting all emotional and telling your sisters how you’re feeling is just what you need to get them to stop the dress drama and get it over with

best of luck

Post # 6
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel your pain. I have my two sisters (both younger, both married) as bridesmaids in the wedding. My two best friends are Maid and Matron of Honor. Plus another close friend and fiances sisters.

The only ones who have given me any trouble since the get go are my sisters.One also had problems with the $180 dress and said she was expecting to pay only $120, so I kicked in the difference. The other sister also tried to go the online route..I fought it, and she ordered with the group from where I ordered my bridal gown (though she ordered it the last day/deadline we had set). When the dresses came in, I did not even bother to ask them to pay to get the dresses shipped to them (all the other girls had no problem with the $25 shipping fee as all of them live out of the area). I just did not deal with the drama.

I’m also paying for all their hair/makeup/and jewlery(bridesmaids gifts). Their son & daughters are also in the wedding so I picked up the flowergirl dress for each of them. I’ve had the same thoughts about asking them to step down, but had decided against it. I am just sucking it up and expecting them to be a little bit of a stumble as the wedding moves forward. Every time I get a call or text I wonder, okay, what’s next.

Im glad I have my MOH’s and other girls to rely on and support me. I’m sad that I don’t have my sisters to do that, but like the old saying goes “you can’t choose your family but you can pick your friends”. I’m trying to just concentrate on the day itself and the Man I can’t wait to walk down the aisle to!

Post # 7
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, you would be wrong to kick them out.  That is a very public slight and would ruin your relationship with your sisters.  It would also make you look really bad.  Honestly, I don’t think they are being totally unreasonable.  Who would want to spend a lot of money on a dress they hate?  Sure they’ve done it before, but it sounds like they disliked it and really don’t want to do it again (I also get this is frustrating).  You need to ask them their budget privately and then stay within it.  I’m sorry $120 seems “cheapo” to you, but that’s a lot of money to some people.  If you find a dress that you like within their budget then I would tell them that’s the dress adn stand your ground.  If the don’t get it then they’ve removed themselves from the wedding party.  You can also offer to split the difference if you find a more expensive dress you like.  Or you can just pick a color, length, and fabric and let them pick their own.

Post # 8
962 posts
Busy bee

Here’s how this goes: you send out an email and say “I have selected this dress at $x. Thanks again everyone for being in my bridal party. I love you all.” End of discussion. Pick something reasonably priced (I’d say $150 or less) and be done with it. Seriously. You are being too nice and too accomodating. end of story.

Post # 9
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It is always the bride’s responsibility to accommodate bridesmaids’ dress budgets.  Runswithbears is 100% correct, $120 is by no means ‘cheapo’ for a dress.  I rarely spend that much on dresses I love and wear all the time.

I doubt anyone will notice the fact that the $88 is a ‘knockoff’ and if that fits everyone’s budgets, I say go for it.  And then you’ll have the bridesmaid dresses checked off your list!  One less thing to worry about!

Please do not remove your sisters from the wedding.  It will only reflect poorly on you, especially since it is over a dress.

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