(Closed) bridesmaidS vs. noNE

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

traditionally BMs usually are supposed to pay for their own dress, and/or throw you a shower and/or bacholerette party. MOh’s help with planning adn organizing. 

Everyones situtation is different.

My BMs are all over the place and have a lot going on. I semi-planed my B-party but they will do the shower. One of the Bms is helping me address my invitations.

Pro- you’ve got a support group

Con- the may end up to be a lousy support group.  

 Pro-you include your friends in your special day

Con- other friends may get jealous

Pro – you can include his family

Con – you can include his family

Pro – great traditional pictures

Con – more $ spent on gifts

the list can go on and on. Like I said, we all have different situtations on BMs.. Mine hasn’t been great so far but I’m also the first to get married so they really don’t know what to do anyway.  

More info…



Post # 5
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Well said TallBride! She’s right, everyone is different. My situation has been dissapointing with my girls, and half of them are family, 3 are and 2 very close friends. It depends on what you expect from them, ( watch out if you decide to vent about your BM’s on the board here, some of the gals here are quick to bite your head off and remind you that THIER doing you a favor!) I don’t think anyone is there to do you favors, but if they love you they will be there for you be it physically there helping with organizing and setting up or just emotionally, a phone call away to calm you down during a bridezilla moment! Don’t expect them to organize anything for you, unless they already volenteered. I did my own Bridal Party and my mom and future Mother-in-law planned my bridal shower. Only one of my bm’s came to my Bridal Party, that really bummed me out. People flake, even if they are gun-hoe from the begining, seriously they could back out a few days before! If I could have the chance to choose again, I would have only had my two sisters be my bm’s. We’ll see how the bridal shower goes! Good luck with your decision!

Post # 6
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I agree with Tallbride’s pro/con list I see it as a support group IF you choose wisely. My three best friends will be up there with me. I’m the first to have a walk down the aisle wedding but the third to get married. I’ve been lucky, even though my BFs live out of state and and the others in the same state but many hours away, that they went ahead and did a little research on what their "roles" are. I did not expect anything from them "role-wise" but the love and support they have always given me. My other two BMs on the other hand are my lovely SIL. Not much to say there. LOL EVERYTHING done for them so I don’t expect anything from them at all. I think it’s ok if you don’t want to have any BMs. I’ve heard of that done before and it worked out fine. You don’t have to stress over matching dresses, or shoes or hair and make-up.

Post # 7
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

I’m not having bridesmaids…mostly because my wedding is very small and my mom and aunts are very involved with planning (I don’t mind, I actually prefer it) I do have a Maid/Matron of Honor and she’s my voice of reason.

If you do want bridesmaids.. choose wisely…I have witnessed first hand how stressed and disappointed some poor brides have been…and they totally didn’t deserve that.

Some people take the title "bridesmaid" as some sort of coronation! 

Post # 8
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Totally agree with TallBride and the rest of the posters above.

For more info online, you can check out the WB wiki’s entry on bridesmaids here.

Post # 10
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Matrons of honor are basically like your maid of honor but she’s married. (maid=single matron=married) They can do everything a Maid/Matron of Honor does or not… discuss it from the get-go to avoid problems.

Post # 11
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I could do it again I would have no bridesmaids.  I might be crazy but I thought the point of them was to somewhat help you out, but I’ve learned to expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed that way.  I’ve done my best to find all the best deals for all my girls, but when I asked for their help finding a cheap shoe they liked I never got an answer from anyone.  So, I’ve decided they are just gonna have to get what I ask since we’ve only got a month left and they haven’t cared to find themselves any deals.

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