Post # 1
I know there are other bees out there who have had this problem. What on earth did you ladies do? I had the dresses picked out and ok’d by the girls almost 9 months ago. They were all notified of the final deadline about two months ago and I’ve given a verbal reminder to them in the last month. There are only 17 days left until the deadline and not a single one has purchased a dress.
I know of one friend who may have to cut it really close for financial reasons. Another told me about three weeks ago she was going to go buy her dress (and she still hasn’t). I’m worried some of them are just putting it off or not telling me about financial issues that may be getting in the way. I’ve already told them that I don’t want them to put themselves out financially for the wedding. I’ve even asked them if they wanted me to look for a less expensive dress.
The dress is $99 so it’s not too bad, but I’m starting to panic. I just feel like they are not talking to me to spare my feelings or something. I’ve tried to make it so that they feel comfortable coming to me with any concerns so I’m at a loss.
Sorry ladies for the mini panic vent.
Post # 3
I have no advice except that one of my girls waited till the last minute for financial reasons and then 4 weeks before the wedding, still didn’t have the dress, and dropped out 🙁 it was sad. I hope everything works out. Other bridesmaids of mine did wait until pretty late to get theirs but they had it ready on the day.
Post # 4
@FloretteLiz: I have two girls in my bridal party that are waiting till RIGHT before the wedding because they want to lose more weight and get into a certain size. It is driving me crazy.. and then I feel bad because I doubt they’re going to get into the size they’re shooting for because they’re shooting for crazy sizes… One said she waas just going to order the size so that she’d HAVE to fit into it.!!!!!!!!!!! WTH. I’m not going to be shedding any tears come MY wedding dday when they can’t squeeze in an unrealistic size…
PS: the kicker is that I picked a dress that they look STUNNING in in their own size and they wouldn’t have to lose weight. I don’t understand the obsession.
Post # 5
I’m sorry 🙁 Luckily my girls went the week I picked out the dress, so I didn’t have this problem, but maybe suggest meeting you there to order them, all at the same time?
What we did with our guys is tell them they need to order by July 15th, but the real date to order by is July 30th. We did a little white lie, so that they couldn’t wait to the last minute lol (I know, mean of us huh)
Post # 6
Yes, it’s VERY frustrating, but at the end of they day they have until X day to buy Y dress. Didn’t do it in time and now can’t get the dress?
BUMMER. Looks like you won’t be able to participate in the wedding.
I realize that it might not seem that simple, but sometimes it really is. The girls have known for months about it, and I assure you they don’t need another reminder. Maybe some of them really don’t want to participate and don’t know how to tell you, which is why they’re dragging their feet. Whatever it is, it’s not your worry (easier said than done huh? :)).
They have 17 days. To brides thats like 3 hours but to regular humans it’s almost a month. No worries.
Post # 7
@KristenGotMarried: “They have 17 days. To brides thats like 3 hours but to regular humans it’s almost a month. No worries. “
This is sooo true! lol I agree with you, if they weren’t responsible enough to get it after plenty of time and warnings, then they don’t need to be in it at all, it’s their fault!
Post # 8
@star_dust: Aww that’s a bummer. : ( I’m hoping mine are all just waiting until next week or something.
@Woodstock: I have one girl who I think might be doing that. That was her reasoning last month anyway. It’s sad when women don’t see how beautiful they are like that. I hope their dress sizes work out for them!
I think I’m just sad because my very close cousin had to drop out for financial reasons and my only sister had to drop because she is pregnant now. I understand for both of them because the money can be better spent elsewhere. It’s just sad.
Post # 9
One thing I’ve learned is that you can’t have deadlines and expectations. Your expectation has to be your deadline. Day to day things come up that may need to be taken care of before the dress. Over 2 weeks is plenty of time for them to get it done. They could get it does in a day…and it may be day 17! Don’t sweat…they love you and will get it done!!!
Post # 10
@JlovesM: I’ve tried that. Some girls wanted me to go with them. Others wanted to go with their mothers for some reason.
@KristenGotMarried: lol your comment about 17 days feeling like 3 hours hit home. I know it’s simple if they can’t buy the dress by the date needed. It’s just a letdown because it is EVERY single one. Even my Maid/Matron of Honor hasn’t bought her dress. She just had her college graduation though so I know why she is delayed.
Ooh! After my reminder message I now have one girl asking when I can go with her to buy hers. 5 more to go…
Post # 11
I had similar issues and I had a freak out moment since the deadline changed when one of the girls went to order. They never told me that. The dresses got there in plenty of time but I had to have everyone order 2 weeks earlier than planned. This resulted in me ordering two of the dresses for the girls because they couldn;t get to the store to do it.
Post # 12
I don’t want to freak you out, but 2 of my BMs bought their dresses, and the other 2 dragged their feet. Well, when the other 2 went to order, the dress had been discontinued and they didnt have their sizes on the rack. They had to get another dress. I was, and still am, pretty mad. They knew the dress choice for over 6 months. They are 2 of my oldest friends though, so I didn’t feel right kicking them out. Im just going to have to deal with them not matching the other 2.
Post # 13
@missapis: That stinks! I just went to the store last month and they said the dress won’t be discontinued. It’s one of the more popular ones the store sells though so expected arrival date means they need the dresses ordered ASAP. I’m sure your ladies will still look great even if it’s not what you envisioned. At least having bridesmaids in different styles is all the rage right now right? I guess if my girls wait to long I might have them do what you did.
Post # 14
I have seven bridesmaids (including MOH) and 3 have bought their dresses. I know it’s still super early and I offered to pay for alterations if anyone needs them closer to the wedding but I was/am very nervous the dress style was/is going to be discontinued. I’m struggling with one bridesmaid who is holding off to buy hers until she loses several dress sizes. I feel bad pressuring her to buy but the dress would look great how she is now too but she doesn’t see that. So I just have to try to be patient and hope it doesn’t get discontinued.
Post # 15
Think about it this way – 17 days is more than 2 weeks. They really do see it as having plenty of time. As long as they get the dress ordered, you will be fine. It doesn’t matter if its ordered a month before the deadline or an hour before the deadline.
Believe me, there will be more stressful things to deal with than this!
Post # 16
I am speaking from being a bridesmaid in the past….. 17 days is a long time. they are not understanding all the stress you are under. I remember being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and the bride told us the date they had to be ordered by and I planned to go on the last day, she finally came to me and told me I was making her nervous and that day I went and ordered it. They may not realize you are getting nervous. Dont worry they will get them.
Now speaking from a brides point of veiw ……. whay the hell do they wait. My wedding is in 25 days and 4 of my BMs still have not gotten their dress altered!!!!!!!!!!!