Post # 1
I am one of two bridesmaids for the wedding of one of my best friends (no maid of honor, just the two of us). I live over 3,000 miles away from my friend, so I will be flying in for the wedding. I am also planning her bachelorette party and planning to pay for the majority of it and planning to help her with her hair and do her makeup and have bought a bunch of makeup for it. I also have in the past done a painting for a good friend’s wedding with their names and wedding date in acrylics that I included as part of their gift that they said they loved and will probably do the same for this wedding (I am a decent hobbyist-level painter). Do I still need to buy a wedding gift? I might well do so even if the answer is no, but I’m not sure yet and I don’t know that she has a registry. I know if I asked her personally, she’d tell me no, but I don’t want her to feel disappointed, which I know happens even when you say things aren’t necessary and really mean it. So – thoughts? Thanks!
Post # 2
adf1520 : I don’t think any couple should expect gifts from the wedding party who are already spending hundreds, if not thousands to attend the wedding and be in the wedding party.
I would give them a lovely card with my heartfelt best wishes.
Post # 3
I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding where I’ve had to front a lot of expenses. I still bought a wedding gift, but it was definitely a smaller gift than I give as a regular guest.
Post # 5
I think the painting itself counts as a gift. anything above that is not required.
I think that gifts shouldn’t be expected from the wedding party but unless the couple has said that no gifts needed, then a gift is expected. Also if a member of wedding party does something (hair, make up) to the bride then it should be considered a gift, but it needs to be confirmed out loud.
Post # 6
rez123 : I offered to help with hair and makeup because the timing makes it hard for her to hire someone, she accepted enthusiastically. I also offered to plan the bachelorette party and will also be cooking/baking things for it in addtiion to reserving the activities/location. I haven’t specifically said to her that any of it counts as a gift because she’d just tell me she doesn’t need a gift from me regardless so that would be a bit of a silly conversation. From what she’s said, she seems to be of the opinion that the 12 hour flight each way ($700 total for the flight) is my gift to her, but I will be staying at her house for the week I’m up there so I don’t quite agree there. I just want her to be happy!
Post # 7
The painting definitely counts as a gift and even that is big very generous when you have so many other expenses for this!
Post # 8
adf1520 : I honestly couldnt tell you if my bridesmaids got me a gift or not. Them coming to my events was more than enough! I got some nice cards on my wedding day that meant a lot!
Post # 9
I told my wedding party not to, but they did buy them anyway. (They could wear whatever they wanted and I paid for hair and makeup, but they had to pay a couple hundred dollars for accommodation.)
A painting is a great idea – it’s way more personal as well. If you don’t do the painting then a small token gift and a nice card is enough for sure.
Post # 10
No, you really don’t. If anything the painting is a gift, but I never ever expected a gift from my wedding party! You’ve been extremely generous with everything already – the bachelorette, the makeup, the travel, and all other expenses for the wedding! The painting is such a sweet gesture. I can’t imagine her wanting anything else!
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
I did not expect any gifts from my bridesmaids. They spent money on being a part of my day. Especially since you have travel costs, I would say a lovely card with a small gift or handmade gift would be more than generous.
Post # 12
adf1520 : wow, you certainly have given enough in time and money!
Post # 13
I would not buy a gift. I would give a heartfelt card. You are already doing and spending a lot on this wedding. Personally I LOVE recieving cards to read in later years. I have saved every card I have ever recieved and the words of a sincere card mean a lot.
I would treasure a card from a friend like you if I was the bride.
Post # 14
My hairstylist BFF and I (makeup artist) agreed years ago that she’d do my hair for my wedding as a gift. Now that she’s engaged at the exact same time, I intend to do her makeup for hers. These will be our gifts to each other. We also pay each other for these services when we need them, so that does play into it. I’ve either not given an additional gift or else gone in on something with someone else for the other weddings I’ve been in, based on the time and money commitments I had to make to them.
Post # 15
samael : This is lovely, and oh so true! I keep and re-read my cards and letters as well! Fiance gave me one of those book cards the morning of the day he proposed, and I totally knew after reading it that it was going to happen sometime that day. 😛 That’s something I’ll keep with me forever, and a card is like what, $5? 🙂