Bridesmaid's wedding gift question

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I was once Maid/Matron of Honor in a high school friends wedding. She treated me so badly the whole time she was engaged. Made me wear a satin lavender dress too 😐 – yuck.

I was in the process of getting her a gift a couple of days after the wedding. She knew I was waiting for my aunt to get back into the country so I could use her wholesale card.

I messaged her a few days after the wedding & said my aunt is back but she said I can’t use her wholesale card for a month. Are you ok to wait for your present I asked? She said no get me something now…

Then a week later while I was shopping for her gift, she messaged me and said where is my gift?! I said a gift is an honour. You don’t ask for one. It’s rude. She got in a huge argument with me.

I went out & bought a beautiful mirror plus a dinner set. I messaged her and said I have your present. Can I drop it off? She said she’s on her honeymoon and could I drop it at her friends work. I said no I want to give it to her personally and it’s fragile. After that she ignored my messages to drop it off.

Six months later she messaged me like nothing was wrong. Then tried to hang out with me but I dismissed it. Now I knew something about her. I do miss her as we were good friends for 10 years but I’d never want her back in my life.

Just so you know. That mirror hangs beautifully in our bathroom. Reminds me how I don’t have to put up with her shit any longer…


And no I wouldn’t expect my moh to get me a present. 

Post # 17
15 posts
  • Wedding: April 2019

The painting is a personalized gift that you are hand making.  Add a sentimental card with is and I think that is a suitable gift!  When you are in the wedding, you are already putting forth soooo much else, but a personalized gift is a great idea!

Post # 18
352 posts
Helper bee

I think it depends on your situation. The first time I was a bridesmaid it was for my best friend and I was Maid/Matron of Honor. I flew in for several events, threw the bachelorette and shower and didn’t have much $ by the time the wedding came around. I was young and I didn’t end up getting them a gift, just a card and that was fine. Now I’m older and I always give gifts even as a bridesmaid. I still feel bad about that first one but she never minded. 

Post # 19
458 posts
Helper bee

The painting and a nice card sound perfect. If you wanted to you, you could also thrown in a small, cheaper item from their registry too, if you feel the need.

But whatever it is, just talk it out with her like “Hey, is it okay if I don’t contribute to your registry since I’m doing X, X and X? My flight is costing a lot so unfortunately I just don’t have funds leftover for the registry gift that I wanted to get you, but I plan on making something personal for you that I hope you’ll love.” I’m sure it will be fine as long as you just phrase it this way in advance to avoid drama later.

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