Post # 1
I’m beginning the planning for my wedding approximately 1 year from now and have started thinking about who I should ask to be a bridesmaid, but I’m very stuck and need your help (and experience)! I don’t have any female relatives (no sisters, cousins, young aunts or the like), just two younger brothers aged 21 and 25 (neither has a girlfriend I could include). FI has one sister who I’m on good terms with and is my first choice, but I always wanted two or three. My only other girl friends (I am reasonably close with both of them) are in Alberta (I’m in Ontario) and far up north (may as well be Alberta) and I’m sure they would come down for the wedding, but wouldn’t be available for any help with planning or parties.
I feel like my options are to ask my two brothers (has anyone ever done this??? is it crazy???) OR have one bridesmaid (FSIL) OR have three and hope that my out-of-town friends don’t flake out.
Any suggestions? Did anyone else have unorothodox Bridesmaid or Best Man choices, or have to rely on FAR out-of-town bridesmaids? What would you do???
Post # 3
I have five bridesmaids, although I initally only had two.
I live in Ontario, but am getting married in BC (where I’m from). Initially I had just asked my cousin to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, and my oldest friend to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. They both live in BC. I have three girls who I spend a lot of time with here in Ontario, but I didn’t want to ask them to be BMs because I didn’t want to inconvenience them because they were already flying across the country. But as time went on, I decided to shove my anxiety aside and just ask them. And they all agreed! It was silly of me not to ask them in the first place, because I know if we had of been getting married in Ontario, I wouldn’t have had any second thoughts about asking.
I say…ask your friends in Alberta! I haven’t expected or asked any of my BMs or my Maid/Matron of Honor to do anything, and don’t plan on doing so even as the big fluffy white day gets closer. If they are your friends and you want them by your side, ASK!
Post # 4
Thanks! I’m really not expecting anyone to help with the wedding and I’m very comfortable doing most things solo. I guess I was most concerned about getting coordinating bridesmaid dresses for three girls with very different body types who are spread out across the country and don’t have a hope of doing any looking together (or with me). This will also mean no bridal showers or bachelorettes, which are really not important to me, it’s just a reality of having them only be available for the weekend of the wedding.
But you’re totally right – they are important to me and if they decide they want to be part of it, I’m sure (I hope) they’ll make the effort to take on the bridesmaid dress fittings and whatnot solo.
Post # 5
@princess_r: The dress thing was a anxiety inducing for me, too. My three girls here could go together with me, but my Maid/Matron of Honor and other bridesmaid were on their own. So I picked a brand, length, and colour, and asked them to each pick their own style.
My Maid/Matron of Honor went first (with my mom), and she picked one. I then went with my three here, and they ended up liking the same dress (different from Maid/Matron of Honor, though, which was fine). It made it super easy to tell the last bridesmaid exactly which one to get – I even looked up stores in Vancouver for her so she knew where to go.
As for the parties…wish I had some insight on that, but I don’t! Good luck.
Post # 6
@princess_r: I’m having a small wedding party and both of my girls are over 2000 miles away (they’re in California while I’m in North Carolina). I think it just depends on what you expect. I told my girls they could pick their own dresses and shoes. I decided against them having matching dresses since they look so different and have such different tastes and body types. They’re using black dresses they already have, which made it really simple. We’re not doing a bachelor/bachelorette party, but my girls are coming out early and staying with me in my house so we’ll have plenty of girl time. I think it’s more important to have the people you care about standing by your side than to worry about what every detail of the wedding looks like.
In addition, we have all decided to keep in touch with pictures, videos, etc via facebook. If you don’t want everyone to have matching dresses, I think the distance isn’t a problem; especially since the internet makes it so easy to stay in touch. If you want them there, there’s always a way to make it work.