(Closed) bridesmaids??

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

 I see in your profile it says you’re only seventeen- do you think maybe your bridemaids aren’t very interested because they are your age and are concerned with other things?  If I was asked to be a bridesmaid at seventeen, I wouldn’t be much help either.   I’m not sure what your reasons are for wanting to get married, but if this is what you believe is right for you, be patient with your friends and try not to have really high expectations.  I’m guessing they’re still kids, and at that age the last thing on your mind is planning a for real wedding,

Post # 4
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

It is not my place, but you are very young (not even out of high school or an adult yet)- are you sure want to be married? 

Post # 6
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not sure what to say other than to ask them for the help.  You said they didn’t offer, so you’ll need to ask for it.  If they seem distant, might they not be completely on board with the wedding?

I wish you the best.

Post # 7
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I have had the same problem with one of my bridesmaids and to be honest I would ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to get in touch with them and get things rolling. Or you could also have a little Saturday night get-together and make it all about your wedding and what your expectations are. Congratulations and I’m sure things will start to smooth out. They probably think its too soon for them to worry about anything right now. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I apologize if I offended you.  I just have flashbacks to who I was in love with when I was seventeen- he was a great guy, but I’ve changed so much.  Good luck.

Post # 9
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My bridesmaids usually don’t initiate much either. But I do talk to them regularly. I do know that they probably just don’t know what I expect of them and are waiting for me to give them some direction. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from them instead of waiting for them to volunteer. They will help you, but they don’t know what you will need help with – or where you are in your planning. Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

i would just ask for help, sometimes you have to ask if they have never been in a wedding before, or they might not know you need help.

Post # 13
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Definetly ask! And your get-together Saturday sounds like the perfect time.

I have a bridesmaid who has never been in a wedding and was not sure of what her role was and what I even expected of her. We had a one-on-one talk. I didn’t say "you need to do this and you need to do that and you better do this." Instead I just told her I asked her to be a bridesmaid because I cared about her and gave her some ideas of things to help me with. I too am planning a little Saturday gathering in a few weeks to do invitations and other little things. I’m treating them to take out and all the wine they can drink!

Post # 14
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think a lot of bridesmaids feel that they don’t want to give too much input on the brides wedding. Its their day and they don’t want to try to turn it around onto them. They prefer to be told what to do and not bother you or stress you out more about the process. 

Also if they are not married or engaged they may also be a little jealous.

Post # 15
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I agree with quirkyparsnip — it could be that they need you to give them some direction because they don’t want to give you too much input. I would recommend that you be honest with them about the help that you need, and hopefully they’ll step up to the plate.

All best!

Post # 16
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I would definitely take them out to dinner and try to get everyone on the same page. Tell them what you are expecting from them and make sure they are willing to participate.  Often times when people say yes to being a bridesmaid they dont really know what the responsibilties are, especially if they’ve never been in a wedding before.

Good luck! 

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