(Closed) bridesmaids…friends or family?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: bridesmaids. ..friends or cousins
    2 college friends : (4 votes)
    40 %
    3 cousins : (6 votes)
    60 %
  • Post # 3
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @mrscocoa:  Is having all of them not an option?

    Post # 4
    5475 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    A good rule of thumb is to wail until about 9-10 months before your wedding to make any wedding party decisions.  People change, relationships change, and weddings bring out the crazy in everyone.

    I’d suggest waiting, and seeing who you gravitate towards naturally.  If the date you have is correct, I would absolutely NOT be making any decisions at this point.

    Post # 5
    2625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @mrscocoa:  I’m going with friends only,but I’m making this decision based strictly on closeness. I think the people who stand with you should ginuinely want to celebrate with you and will cry tears of joy, so to speak, with you. If that’s why you’re picking cousins, I say go ahead, but if not, I say choose people close to you whether they be family or friends.


    Post # 6
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @lina010:  +1 Exactly what she said. Who are the people who you think you will know forever and who always have your back no matter what? These should be your bridal party.

    I had my sister (as MOH), my cousin (same age, were practically raised together in the summers growing up), and my best friend for the past 13 years (we’ve been through a lot together and I am confident we’ll stay friends for a long time if not forever). I love my other friends whom I’ve met over the years, but they have been less consistent and I’ve known them less time, and I wanted to be able to look back at my wedding photos and know that everybody in them was somebody I loved intensely and that my wedding would not have been the same without them at my side.

    Post # 7
    6110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Mine are friends and family (2 friends, 1 cousin)

    Post # 8
    7271 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @DaneLady:  +1

    I would wait. Relationships can change a lot. However, I guess my answer would be to just have all of them. If that’s not an option I would base it on emotional relationship rather than if you’re related.

    Post # 9
    8818 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @mrscocoa:  pick who you want to stand beside you on your wedding day.


    at our reception, our wedding party will not be sitting together.  we are splitting them up and placing them at tables with people who they would want to sit with.




    Post # 10
    16196 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Seating arrangements aside, who do you want to be standing next to you on your wedding day? You can always manipulate the seating assignments later. 🙂

    Post # 13
    7685 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @mrscocoa:  Based on that information I would have neither of your friends (#5 and 6) in the bridal party. First because I just think 7 is too many. They are friends from college and live far away, and the nature of your friendship may change over the next 2 years. Absolutely invite them as guests though.

    Also if your relationship with your Maid/Matron of Honor might change, I’d be wary of asking her, or at least of asking her to be Maid/Matron of Honor. Also I must say that it’s a bit presumptious of her to assume she’ll be Maid/Matron of Honor since she’s “only” known you from high school so you’ve known your cousins longer.

    So I perhaps suggest having a cousin as Maid/Matron of Honor, or no Maid/Matron of Honor at all.

    I agree with you that “one family member and one friend” isn’t a good idea. Especially with the cousins it sounds like it’s got to be all or none, to avoid hurt feelings.

    Post # 15
    7685 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @mrscocoa:  How about option #3, but with one of your friends as the 5th BM? I don’t understand why it’s ok to have one friend as Maid/Matron of Honor and the other friends as guests (options 1 and 2), but not have one friend as Bridesmaid or Best Man and the other friends as guests.

    Or, just have 4 each, and the 5th guy can be an usher or do a reading. That’s how I handled the “problem” that I wanted a 3rd girl but Darling Husband only wanted 2 guys: my 3rd lady did a reading.

    By The Way I agree with PPs that if your wedding really is in May 2015, don’t rush to ask anyone yet.

    Post # 16
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    First off, I agree with PPs — don’t ask anyone until at the very least 12 months out. It just isn’t advisable and there are lots of stories about choosing Wedding Party members too early. Even if you do make a decision soon, keep it to yourself and think on it. It can’t hurt. 🙂

    That being said, I would have your 3 cousins. Your friendships could change a lot in the next two years and family relationships tend to be a bit more stable. I don’t think you should split them up either, since you are concerned about them only knowing eachother.

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