Post # 1
Basically I’m having a difficult time picking between 3cousins and 2friends. I am leaning more towards having the cousins in the wedding. I say this because the two friends would know each other and that’s about it. That way they can sit by each other rather than splitting them up if decide to do one friend and two cousins per say. Any advice?
Post # 3
@mrscocoa: Is having all of them not an option?
Post # 4
A good rule of thumb is to wail until about 9-10 months before your wedding to make any wedding party decisions. People change, relationships change, and weddings bring out the crazy in everyone.
I’d suggest waiting, and seeing who you gravitate towards naturally. If the date you have is correct, I would absolutely NOT be making any decisions at this point.
Post # 5
@mrscocoa: I’m going with friends only,but I’m making this decision based strictly on closeness. I think the people who stand with you should ginuinely want to celebrate with you and will cry tears of joy, so to speak, with you. If that’s why you’re picking cousins, I say go ahead, but if not, I say choose people close to you whether they be family or friends.
Post # 6
@lina010: +1 Exactly what she said. Who are the people who you think you will know forever and who always have your back no matter what? These should be your bridal party.
I had my sister (as MOH), my cousin (same age, were practically raised together in the summers growing up), and my best friend for the past 13 years (we’ve been through a lot together and I am confident we’ll stay friends for a long time if not forever). I love my other friends whom I’ve met over the years, but they have been less consistent and I’ve known them less time, and I wanted to be able to look back at my wedding photos and know that everybody in them was somebody I loved intensely and that my wedding would not have been the same without them at my side.
Post # 7
Mine are friends and family (2 friends, 1 cousin)
Post # 8
I would wait. Relationships can change a lot. However, I guess my answer would be to just have all of them. If that’s not an option I would base it on emotional relationship rather than if you’re related.
Post # 9
@mrscocoa: pick who you want to stand beside you on your wedding day.
at our reception, our wedding party will not be sitting together. we are splitting them up and placing them at tables with people who they would want to sit with.
Post # 10
Seating arrangements aside, who do you want to be standing next to you on your wedding day? You can always manipulate the seating assignments later. 🙂
Post # 11
@MissMay3003: +1 Why can’t you have them all?
Post # 12
Here’s is what I am thinking now.
To answer those of you who asked why not all.
Total I would have 7 total bridesmaids and really would not want to go over 5 and 6 is definitely the limit.
#1: Maid/Matron of Honor: I have not asked any yet but this person would be a childhood friend from high school and have stayed in contact with since we have parted for college. This one is definitely not a for sure thing. I feel more obligated that anything I know she is expecting it because she has mentioned it a few times worried about money but still very much expecting being in the wedding party. She is the person that I have thought of having as my Maid/Matron of Honor.
#2, 3, and 4 : THese would be my cousins. I am extremely close to all of my family, aunts, uncles grandparents, cousins etc… I would really feel upset if I could not work it out to have them in the wedding party. I have always thought about having one family member and one friend too but I still feel that it wouldn’t be right.
#5 and 6: THese girls are both friends from college. One lives within the state but is a good 3 hour drive away. The other lives in another state and is about the same distance away as the first friend. I would love love to have these girls stand up for me. If I had to I would be able to pick one over the other with no drama over it. However, the one would not know anyone else at our wedding nad would hate to have her sit apart from me and her friend as well.
#7: This would be my Future Sister-In-Law. This one is not up for debate and she will be in the wedding party no matter what.
Does this provide more info for you ladies? It’s just a tough decision. I know my relationship will not change with anyone, except for perhaps the one I have chosen for Maid/Matron of Honor, we definitely stil keep in contact we do not get the chance to see each other regularly though. Honestly with her I might ask to be a bridesmaid anyway because she is already worrying about money. So I guess any suggestions on the Maid/Matron of Honor thing as well?
Post # 13
@mrscocoa: Based on that information I would have neither of your friends (#5 and 6) in the bridal party. First because I just think 7 is too many. They are friends from college and live far away, and the nature of your friendship may change over the next 2 years. Absolutely invite them as guests though.
Also if your relationship with your Maid/Matron of Honor might change, I’d be wary of asking her, or at least of asking her to be Maid/Matron of Honor. Also I must say that it’s a bit presumptious of her to assume she’ll be Maid/Matron of Honor since she’s “only” known you from high school so you’ve known your cousins longer.
So I perhaps suggest having a cousin as Maid/Matron of Honor, or no Maid/Matron of Honor at all.
I agree with you that “one family member and one friend” isn’t a good idea. Especially with the cousins it sounds like it’s got to be all or none, to avoid hurt feelings.
Post # 14
Definitely! I agree with the all or nothing thing with cousins.
After some thought I came up with a couple more options.
Maid/Matron of Honor: Have closest friend from college -maybe the way I wrote the previous description didn’t make it seem like we are close. The one I am thinkign of is definitely close enough to me to where she would be made of honor.
Bridesmaid or Best Man: 3 cousins and Future Sister-In-Law
Maid/Matron of Honor: Same friend from high school
Bridesmaid or Best Man: 3 cousins and Future Sister-In-Law
Maid/Matron of Honor: Oldest cousin
Bridesmaid or Best Man: 2 cousins and Future Sister-In-Law ***only problem with this is that Fiance would like to have 5 – so I’m not sure who I would add for the fifth person??
What do you wonderful ladies think about the above?
Post # 15
@mrscocoa: How about option #3, but with one of your friends as the 5th BM? I don’t understand why it’s ok to have one friend as Maid/Matron of Honor and the other friends as guests (options 1 and 2), but not have one friend as Bridesmaid or Best Man and the other friends as guests.
Or, just have 4 each, and the 5th guy can be an usher or do a reading. That’s how I handled the “problem” that I wanted a 3rd girl but Darling Husband only wanted 2 guys: my 3rd lady did a reading.
By The Way I agree with PPs that if your wedding really is in May 2015, don’t rush to ask anyone yet.
Post # 16
First off, I agree with PPs — don’t ask anyone until at the very least 12 months out. It just isn’t advisable and there are lots of stories about choosing Wedding Party members too early. Even if you do make a decision soon, keep it to yourself and think on it. It can’t hurt. 🙂
That being said, I would have your 3 cousins. Your friendships could change a lot in the next two years and family relationships tend to be a bit more stable. I don’t think you should split them up either, since you are concerned about them only knowing eachother.