(Closed) Bridesmaid's/Groomsmen!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… (comes with my career)

What you have planned is perfectly fine.

Your Wedding Attendants should be people YOU and your Hubby-2B cherish in your lives… as they are “standing up for you” both and the very serious commitment you are making.

No one needs to be married or dating to anyone else in the Wedding Party.  And the only time the Bridesmaids & Groomsmen appear together is in photographs, or if the man is escorting the lady… such as down the aisle, introductions (possibly) at the Reception, or to her seat at dinner (if you have a head table)

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 5
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@This Time Round:  Agree.

 

@BabyBrain:  You should have people standing with you who are meaningful to YOU and so should he. There is no need for them to be in pairs or be married etc. It sounds like you have your wedding party pretty well balanced. Don’t stress.

Post # 6
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@BabyBrain:  Unless you are super close to any of them, of course it’s okay. My friend’s husband didn’t have my guy as a groomsmen. She didn’t have her sister-in-law as a bridesmaid despite him having his brother and he didn’t have her brother-in-law despite her sister being a bridesmaid. No one will be hurt. The wedding party is supposed to consist of those that you are closes to ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve never heard of having groomsmen SO’s as bridesmaids. Unless you have personal firendships with them, that makes no sense. Don’t even waste another second thinking about it.

Post # 8
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@This Time Round:  Not to threadjack, but just curious what kind of career you have that has helped you to be so well-versed in etiquette? Seems like it must be a very interesting job!

Post # 9
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@BabyBrain:  And to make up for my above threadjack, I will actually answer your question. It is totally appropriate for you to have who you would like as attendants and for your Fiance to have who he would like. They don’t need to be married and the wives of his married groomsmen probably do not expect to be asked to be in the wedding at all.

Post # 10
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BabyBrain:  Its normal to not and they will be fine without their SOs with them.

My Fiance was a groomsman in a wedding this past summer and I’m very introverted and to be honest was kind of awkward that I was alone during the ceremony and dinner but it was okay, the Bride and Groom took time to ask about me and my personality and background (through my FI) so that way they could seat me with others I’d get along with. Thought that was great…

Post # 12
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It definitely 100% will be okay to not have the groomsmens wives in your bridal party!

 

If you want to make sure they feel inlcuded, you can invite them to the rehearsal and/or rehearsal dinner if you are having one!

 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @BabyBrain:  Considering she is your Step-Sister, and you are contemplating having her part of the Bridal Party… I assume you guys get along fairly well… and lines of communication are good.

Talk to her one-on-one… either face-to-face or by phone.  Don’t broach the subject immediately… have some nice friendly banter first.  Then tell her you’d LOVE to incorporate her in the festivities / celebration, and you are wondering what might interest her… make it clear to her as she is your sister you are asking her first before anyone else… would she like to do something big like being a Bridesmaid * or something else… like being a Reader, Hostess at the Gift / Card Box / Guest Book Table etc.

* At some point in the conversation be prepared to discuss the responsibilities of a Bridesmaid (in that many gals who say YES to this job at first glance don’t always realize all that it entails)

Be open to thinking outside the box too, if Hubby-2B and you haven’t set down your whole Bridal Party yet… because she may want to be in the Bridal Party but, would prefer a smaller role (Ushers can be either Male or Female… and a female one could be dressed like one of the girls or one of the guys).

Making her feel non-pressured is really going to have a lot more to do with you and how your present it all.  Keep it light hearted… and excited to share this part of your life with her.

Hope this helps,

 

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