(Closed) Bridesmaid/Sister Rage!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Can I ask her for the money back and tell her to just come as a guest now.
    Yes : (4 votes)
    17 %
    No : (7 votes)
    30 %
    Even if you did you won't get your money back : (12 votes)
    52 %
    Other... : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7872 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    She’s crazy for waiting. With only 3 airlines here (4 if you count Tiger), the way to get a good fare is to get in early!  I went on the Qantas site and there are still (one way, Brisbane to Adelaide) $145 fares available on the afternoon of Friday the 9th. Then I looked for this coming Friday (to see what would happen if she left it to the last minute) and the cheapest was $195 and that’s a Jetstar flight at 6.15 am. Other flights are over $200, most over $300. That’s a big price difference! And I agree driving is impractical. With a 4 year old (yes I’ve been there) you need a lot of stops.

    That said, her travel arrangements are not your problem. How to handle it depends on how reliable your sister is. Is she a person who just misses events because she suddenly can’t afford it or is disorganised? Or does she always somehow get there?

    Personally I would assume she’s not coming and ask my friend to be a witness. But my feeling is asking for the dress back is just asking for trouble, but I don’t know your sister. But me, I’d just write off the $250 as lost.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7908 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    Sue needs to buy her butt a plane ticket now.

    I’m sorry she’s being so difficult.

    Post # 6
    Member
    485 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    well, I’m 40 so I have a different take.

    Let her take care of herself.  Don’t worry about it.  If she gets there without her dress let her wear whatever she wants.  Or you go buy her the backup dress YOU want and tell her to put in on.  

    You’re giving her power.  You’re scrambling.  Stop it.  Don’t worry about your flight.  If she has to drive, that’s her problem.  If she doesn’t make it in time, and can’t be in your wedding…. problem solved, right?

    So – treat like a big girl.  It’s the only way she will ever act like one.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7728 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @Mrs Hoot:  ” Maybe I just won’t worry about it and let them worry about themselves if they show.”  Yup, do that.  Don’t drive yourself crazy over it.  I’m sorry she’s not being more supportive for you. BTW-  Can you wear the dress you purchased for her to some occasion?

    Post # 10
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I wish you could tell her to give the money back and go to hell… but she’s your sister.  I voted no.  Just remember this when she gets married….

    Post # 11
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would ask her to mail you her dress and the flower girl’s dress and all accessories. Even if you need to make something up to get her to mail them, or if you have to send her a prepaid box to mail them. That way, at least you don’t have to worry about her showing up without them. Or call her the day before she leaves and ask her to make sure that she has packed everything. Or ask her to put it all in her suitcase right now, while you are on the phone with her.

    Or just let it all go and it will be what it is. You can’t make her do anything (even go to the post office), even though it is frustrating and this would impact you.

    Post # 12
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Don’t kick her out no matter how frustrating she is. In 20 years you will have no idea what she did to be so difficult, but everyone will remember that you kicked her out. You and everyone else will always have your pictures as a reminder that you didn’t have her in your wedding. By then you might be best friends again. Don’t do anything you can’t take back.

    Post # 13
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Yah, I agree with orangefairy. Ask her to send the fancy clothes as a precaution in preparation for the wedding. If she shows up she gets to wear it. If she doesn’t show you got your dress back. I wouldn’t count on her being your bridesmaid unless she happens to arrive two days before the wedding as planned. Plan for your friend to take her place, and if she shows up have both of them and then your sides will match. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    7872 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @orangefairy:  I agree! That’s why I said “assume she’s not coming” rather than actually ask for the dress back. Don’t ask again about her plane tickets, just make provisions that she might well not be there. If she comes, great. If she doesn’t come, her problem.

    Post # 15
    Hostess
    7564 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @3xaCharm:  I agree completely. She’s a big girl and can handle herself. If she doesn’t show, you’re not any more out a bridesmaid than you would be if you asked her to step down. Don’t stress, she’ll figure it out. 

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid/Sister Rage!’ is closed to new replies.

    Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
    I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

    Find Amazing Vendors