Post # 1
Alright, so first off, so everybody knows, I am actually already legally married and we’re still having our big wedding on October 9th. My husband has two sisters, one that I love and the oldest I really can’t stand. So my sister in law who is also one of my bridesmaids has fought me on everything so far. I told all the girls to pick their own dresses as long as they were orange and long, similar fabrics. Well, my bridesmaidzilla sister in law wouldn’t have it. She kept telling me what kind of dress she wanted and what color she thought she should have. The other girls finally convinced her to pick an orange dress. Well, now the girls are trying to pick a color for their shoes. Two of the three girls want black heels but bridesmaidzilla wants to wear white sandals because she has a pair at home. Am I crazy to be getting so annoyed at this? What should I do? I definitely don’t want to be rude to my husband’s sister even though she has no problem being rude to me… even in my own home. My husband doesn’t like her much either.
Post # 3
If you told them that they could pick then I think all you can do is give opinions. Seems like the others are trying to wrangle her in. If she doesn’t get on board with the black heels I’d say have one of the others wear something different so it doesn’t stand out as completely different and leave her alone about the sandals–nobody is gonna be looking at her feet anyway. Maybe suggest any black shoe that she has in her closet, though honestly orange dresses and black shoes seem a bit halloweeny to me.
Post # 4
Thanks, I guess you’re right. I’ll have to consider the whole black shoes thing too.
Post # 5
I agree with Kala on all counts. Good luck!
Oh and btw… I got married before my wedding too. 🙂 We had to deal with immigration, so we got married by civil ceremony on April 16th, 2010 and then had our “official” wedding on October 15th, 2010. So you aren’t alone on that! 🙂
Post # 6
If your not a big fan of her and your husband doesnt like her that much why is she in your wedding???? And no IMO your not being unreasonable or anything like that. This is your wedding. But I will say when you let girls pick their own dresses and such they can get a little carried away about themselves vs the big picture. If you have a vision you need to let them know what it is and be very matter of fact about what you want.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies for your feedback. My sister in law is in my wedding party because she wanted to be. She pretty much invited herself to be in it and I thought saying “No, cause I kinda hate you” would sound rude:) I just wanted to see what other people thought of it. Sometimes an outsider’s opinion really helps. And I’m glad I’m not the only one getting married twice. Believe it or not, some people have trouble understanding. It doesn’t bother me, it’s just interesting. Thanks again ladies!
Post # 8
I only wanted one of my FI’s sisters in the bridal party.But my Fiance said that there were issues in the last wedding(his brothers wedding) where only one was in the wedding party.Jealousy,etc.So he didnt want any of that,so I had them both thrown at me,when I wanted just one in my wedding party.
To keep the peace they are both in it.And the one I didnt want in,has already backed out when I needed my bridesmaids to help me pick between the three wedding dresses I was obsessing over.She didnt have anything planned that day,but her sister did(family picnic).So she was gonna go with me.She texted me that morning and said she couldnt make it to the appointment with me.
Turns out she dropped me to go to the family picnic when she found out about the picnic.The other bridesmaids(another SIL,myFI’s brothers wife and my brothers girlfriend) who came with me,we went to the picnic too,but later.When I saw that this sister who canceled on me was there already,I was pissed!!
So I am not relying on her anymore for ANYTHING.She said earlier when I go look at things to let her know so she can help,etc.,but when I needed her for the most important thing,MY DRESS,and she dropped me?!?!Nope she had her chance and she failed.SHe will still be in the wedding party.I have no choice,but I am not asking her to do anything!!!Just buy your dress and shoes and show up for the wedding.Thats all I trust u to do.