posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m sorry you have to deal with this… if I agreed to be someone’s bridesmaid I would wear a paper sack if it made them happy. My girls all have different taste, so I picked a designer that carried a variety of dresses that complimented each other and everyone picked their own dress. Is that a possibility for you?

Post # 4
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I refuse to deal with this kind of stuff and thank the lord so far that I haven’t had to.   Now, if someone has a scar that they are uncomfortable with or something like that, I am willing to listen, but I don’t like that color or I don’t like that dress stuff I am not dealing with.

Post # 5
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Elm tree:  At this point you have been very generous. Please make sure this wedding is a reflection of your Fiance and you. My friend let her mother run her wedding and 7 years later she regrets it.

Pick the color scheme you want, pick a dress cut like A-line or Princess that flatters ALL female body shapes  (apple, pear, rectangle, et al) and tell this maids this is the dress you want for them.

Are they planning your shower yet? It better be amazing with all those women

Post # 6
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Did you check their budgets individually with them prior to deciding on a dress?  It may be their responsibility to purchase the dress of your choice, but it is your responsibility to make sure the dresses are not above the lowest budget.

And what do you mean by #2?  A dress you found didn’t meet someone’s tradition?  If it wasn’t modest enough for their way of life, you can always accommodate that one person with a bolero, shawl, or something slghtly different with a longer skirt or sleeves.  Many Orthodox Jewish and Muslim women, and some Christians too, believe a woman should not show her shoulders or her legs off in public.  This is a vew that should be respected.

Once you take price and modesty into account, go forth and choose your dress!


Post # 8
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Elm tree:  In the end the dress decision is yours- I do, however, think its best practice to find something that the majority like. I think color can be tricky, for a wedding I’m in we went shopping and tried on 3 different shades of red. The bride and I talked about the different shades and it was decided that the softer red would compliment everyone better than (as the older lady helping us put it) ‘hooker red’ shade! You certainly wouldn’t want your girls washed out right??

What is it that the odd man out doesn’t like?? 9/10 is pretty damn good IMO!

Post # 9
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have a large group of BMs too, 9 to be exact.. I haven’t yet begun the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress search, but I’ve already decided there’s NO way in heck I’m bringing all 9 with me, I’d pull my hair out. So this is my plan: I’m going to just take my Maid/Matron of Honor and best friend to look at dresses.. narrow it down to 2 or 3 we (I!) really like, then tell the other 7 girls where the dresses are, and which ones they are and have them go try them on–I’ll go w/ them if they want. Then once every one has had the chance to try them on & get the feel for them, I’m taking a group vote.. majority wins!! No one will be mad at me, Hey I didn’t pick them out, you guys did! And then at least I’ll be picking the one most of them like. *fingers crossed* it works out as good in real life as it does in my head!

Post # 10
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand the tradition thing better – honestly I think you were better off not asking for their input about traditions.  After all, the only traditions you need to reflect in your wedding are your own and your FI’s.

As for the dresses – I do hope you’re being sincere and not sarcastic (?)  I am actually allowing my bridesmaids to choose a black cocktail dress of their own.  They can use one they already have, or buy a new one wherever they like, from Target to the Gap to Barney’s.  So I didn’t need to even ask about their budgets, because they can spend or not spend whatever they want.

Post # 11
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’ve done enough. It’s one day. They’ll get over wearing a dress they don’t like. I’ve never really liked a single bridesmaids dress I’ve worn. I got over it (without bitching to the bride!). They can too. Especially if it’s just 1 girl. Tell her, I’m sorry it’s not what you would pick but I really like it and you can wear your hair how every you want, or do you hair however you want or whatever you’re letting them decide on their own.

Post # 12
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Haha, your last statement made me giggle. 🙂

I went dress shopping with 5 of my 6 bms this past weekend. I expected it to get a bit crazy because none of them have the same body type & they all of course have different styles. These girls are my best friends & I want them to be comfortable! LUCKILY, they all found one I love; color, style, price(!).

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time but I promise the girls who truly want to stand up beside you on your special day will come through! Good luck <3

Post # 14
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I honestly would tell the one girl to get over it. But here are some other solutions.

Can you let them pick between the two you have liked? are all the girls the same age? Could you let the younger girls pick one dress and the other girls pick another?

I think you have been more then accomidating.

Post # 15
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i completely get not wanting to hurt anyone, but this is one of those situations where having a Maid/Matron of Honor might helpful!! she could probably pull rank and shield you from a lot of this dress/ceremony drama 🙁

i was in a MOH-less wedding recently and there was a lot more power-struggling going on that i ever saw in any other bridal party (of which i have been in many)… A Maid/Matron of Honor doesnt need to be a popularity contest, you just need a responsible person who listens to you and helps manage that giant group of BMs… could you ask a sister or best best friend to kinda help keep people in line, even without the Maid/Matron of Honor title?

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