Post # 1
So I’ve been talking to my FI about our wedding party. I am having both my sisters as bridesmaids and I really liked the idea of including my brother as well. I mentioned to my FI the idea of having my brother be part of my bridal party as a “bridesman” rather than “bridesmaid” so he wouldn’t be left out. My brother really means a lot to me. FI actually laughed at me and told me that was stupid and ridiculous. (He later said that he never called ME stupid, just the idea of doing this) That is goes totally against all tradition and no one would do that unless they were crazy, it would be made fun of, etc. I had no idea he would be so against the idea! I have seen this before and thought it was becoming more common. We had a disagreement about how common this practice is so I told him I’d make a poll and he said he’d like to see that, so here we are. Did you have a male on the bride’s side? If not, was that because it’s not “traditional” or just because you aren’t close to any guys like that? I’m pretty sure I can’t change FI mind, but I’d really appreciate other brides opinions on this. Thanks so much!!
Also, if anyone did have “bridesmen” I’d appreciate pics!
Post # 3
I didn’t have a bridesmen in my party.
I would not have been opposed to it. There aren’t that many men in my life, but if one was near and dear to my heart, I’d ask him in a hot second.
Post # 4
My closest friends are guys. I have a man of honor and a bridesman. FI has a best man and a groomswoman. We picked the people who support us most to stand by our sides. My bridesman is the only member of the wedding party who lives near us and he’s been great about doing wedding stuff with me so far. We went and picked up my dress last weekend. I got some side eyes from the consultants until they found out he was my bridesman and not my FI, but once they were sure he wasn’t my FI they were totally cool with him being there.
Post # 5
I agree with your fiance’. I have never heard of that and would never do it. That’s the point of bridesMaids and GroomsMen. My brother is my fiance’s groomsmen and his sisters are my BMs. Isn’t that how it always is?
Post # 6
I’m not close enough to any of my male friends to ask them to be a part of the bridal party but if I was I would have no problem with them standing up with me. We will be having two groomswomen if that counts for anything.
Post # 7
One of my best friends is male. He is walking my mom down the aisle and then will stand on my side. No ones had an issue with it so far!
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church
My man of honor was my best friend, who is trans and identifies as male. My husband’s best lady was his best friend who is female. In fact, my side was five women and one man and his side was four women and one man. We had our nearest and dearest with us, and that’s all that matters.
Here’s a picture showing my man of honor, Casey; my husband and myself; and my husband’s best lady, Kathleen:
Post # 9
My best friend is male and is standing as a “bridesman” on my side with my girls. I honestly was a little concerned about what my family would think since it isn’t traditional, but no one seems to care. When I first brought up the notion to my fiance, his response was “I already pretty much assumed he would be.”
If you’re really close with your brother, I see no reason why you shouldn’t. I also don’t see why people tend to assume the bride’s brothers have to stand with the groomsmen, or the groom’s sisters with the bride. My FSIL and I are close, so she’s my bridesmaid, but because we live far away from my family, my brother and fiance haven’t had the chance to become close because they rarely see one another so I would never expect him to stand on the grooms side if I wanted to involve him in the wedding party.
Post # 10
No bridesman for me (but I don’t have any problems with it), but my FI is having a groomslady? groomsmaid? anyways, there’s a girl on his side, not sure what we’re calling her 🙂
Post # 11
My brother stood on my side.
it was awesome!
Post # 12
One of my best friends just so happens to be a guy. He is standing on my side, wearing a boutonerre, and attended the bachelor party last weekend. There is absolutely nothing that says you can’t have a male stand on the brides side or vice versa. You choose who you are closest with to stand with you. Just because your fiance is close to a girl doesn’t mean she needs to stand on the brides side.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
I am having two bridesmen
Post # 14
@MrsN14: That’s what I thought too! His sister was my BM and my brother was GM. He’s still i the party supporting me.. he just stands on the other side of the church. 15ft doesn’t make a big difference to me. lol
Post # 15
We wanted to have my two children as our attendants. My daughter immediately agreed to be maid of honor. But my son was hesitating when we asked him to be best man. He finally confessed that in his mind, a best man is a groom’s attendant, and we had failed to provide a groom (same-sex female couple). He finally agreed to be “dude of honor.”
Post # 16
My best friend is male, but he’ll be standing up on FI’s side–but I wouldn’t have had a problem with having him stand up on my side. In our case, it was:
- He always thought he’d stand up on the guys side, not mine
- I had more people than FI (I know it doesn’t have to be even, but I’m pretty sure we’ll still feel like he’s supporting us both no matter which side he’s on)
How he fits in to various parties will still need to be figured out. He’s definitely my BFF but I’m not sure how he’ll react to a weekend with six girls (he’s gay, so he’ll spend the whole time rolling his eyes and going “women” since just me alone is sometimes too much!)
My situation aside, I would totally have had BFF stand up for me if FI had a bunch of people and I didn’t.