Bridezilla about Wedding Shower?

posted 2 years ago in Parties
  • poll: How much should the Bride be involved in the Wedding Shower Planning?
    Not at all - It should be a complete surprise : (3 votes)
    4 %
    A Little Bit- She should be consulted on things like guest list and time, but not other details : (72 votes)
    94 %
    100% - She should help plan the party : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    10697 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    The default assumption is that people are not clueless and know where to find the bride to be if the shower will be larger than a small group of mutual friends. Traditionally,that’s all showers were, are, and should be anyway. Handing the host any sort of list would be presumptuous.

    A surprise shower is also not uncommon and would of course have no input from the bride to be. 

    karamellokoala :  

    But there is an important distinction between a wedding reception and a shower. A wedding reception is in large part considered to be a thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony. It’s not the same thing as a shower, which is all about the bride and “showering” her with gifts. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    152 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    teddserberry :  I hope you enjoyed and don’t ever feel guilty for your actions- you weren’t in the wrong. Hope you have a fantastic wedding.

    Post # 19
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2018

    Just to play devil’s advocate here, I think there might be another side to the story that we don’t know. Did you give them the list without being asked and like “here invite these people” maybe if you had asked them if you can give them a list so that everyone who is invited to the wedding is also included in the shower then it would have been a different situation. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    teddserberry :  I’m sorry it wasn’t the best experience bee. And maybe I’m being mean, but don’t feel obligated to invite those people to your wedding. The host(s) decided to disregard your invite list after you provided it to prevent this exact type of situation. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    10697 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    teddserberry :  That’s really just saying you have no wish to dictate the guest list, but hope to avoid the faux pas of inviting people who are not also invited to the wedding. They obviously had other ideas. I would have been uncomfortable too, not because of social anxiety, but because some of these people will undoubtedly be expecting a wedding invitation.  

    It’s no reflection on you.

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