(Closed) Bridezilla Control freak – am I being unreasonable?

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Print out a picture of what you like and have him take that with him 🙂

Post # 4
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Best thing I would do. Print out pictures.. and say.. anything similar to these these and these and these would be ok or something similar. It will still be a suprise when you see it, but you had a little control because you know he chose one of the designs you liked.

I have no idea what the fred astaire suits look like or the word for them. But completely understandable situation to freak out on. I did, until I convinced FH to let me go shopping with him 🙂 and he was glad I came too! I just made sure I didnt get too involved while he was shopping.

Post # 5
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think if your Fiance truly wants to keep things a secret until the wedding, you should trust his judgement.  I doubt he made a list of requirements for your wedding dress.  If he’s very traditional, I’m guessing he’ll pick a very traditional outfit (probably with the help of a knowledgeable sales person).  It will be okay!  I sympathize about having to push wedding stuff off because of school – that’s seems to be my life story.


Post # 6
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wouldnt stress too much about it. Embrace it as a surprise…something fun. Guys know what a nice suit looks…they really do…and plus there isnt that much variation. if you have given him some guidence or shall i say guidelines, he will look amazing to you on ur day. Don’t worry.

Post # 7
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I can help with some of the articulating of what you like in mens suits, maybe.  Some of it can be articulated at the tailoring stage, so you can happily let him get his suit secretly so it’s a surprise.

Some of the main attributes of Fred Astaire suits were that they were very tailored and slim, and he had them made with very high “arm holes.”  This is very in fashion now (think Tom Ford’s suits on Daniel Craig and Colin Firth—or some of the Ludlow jackets at J Crew), but difficult to get on the cheap, of course.  The high arm hole allows more arm movement without upsetting the way the rest of the suit is draping. Obviously, this is great for a fella who’s going to be dancing like Astaire. Imagine a man in a suit holding his arms extended to the side. If the fabric of the arm connects too low to the body of the suit, it will yank up on the body of the suit and he will look like a flying squirrel, sorta. If the lower part of the armhole is closer to the armpit, the higher you can extend raise your arm without disturbing the body. The higher, smaller armhole also allows for a slimmer sleeve and overall trimmer cut.

At most places where you can buy a suit in the States, you need to tell them that you’re looking for a very European cut, if you want anything like this.  High armholes and fitted jackets fit fewer men than the boxy, roomy, American-style jackets. So they stay stocked in those.

Hmmmm…. I’m with you, cherryshake.  I’d freak out if I didn’t know anything about his attire, simply because I care about these things (and seeing ill-fitting suits is a pet peeve) and I don’t particularly trust my fellow guys to their own suit-buying devices because they usually know little about fit, and sales people just take advantage of that.  They usually end up with a jacket one size too big and sleeves that are too long.  If I was in your shoes, I’d respect his need to keep his attire a surprise.  But I’d feel free to make sure that he takes the thing to a tailor (a real one—not the Cleaners), and get it trimmed up and spiffy. He should learn the phrases: “I need some waist suppression. Can you take in the side bars? Ar you able to slim the sleeves? I want little to no break in the pants.” And he should ignore any suggestions like, “You probably want more room in the jacket so you can dance at the reception.”

Good luck! And keep in mind that he won’t get the actual Astaire look mostly because most of us guys aren’t 120 pounds of limber skin-and-bones 🙂

Post # 8
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I say make sure he goes somewhere quite good, armed with pics and Verno’s tips, above, and then let him at it.

Most people will not remember what he wore to your wedding, if it’s not something totally freaky. I’ve come to the conclusion that people only really remember the food and the music, and us brides just make stress for ourselves, fretting about everything else!

Let him have his autonomy on it, within reasonable parameters.

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