(Closed) Bridezilla Friend

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@miss-e:  Do you want to dump her as a friend?  Seriously, it’s very rare that backing out of a wedding party will have any other result.

That said, you’ve got options.

Option 1: There’s the burned bridges option where you flat out say you’re done.  This would be the time to get everything out that you’ve ever wanted to say to her.  There’s no coming back from this.  She will probably also tell everyone she knows how horrible you are and fake some tears.

Option 2: There’s the avoidance option where you ignore her so much that she tries to kick you out.  This may lead to option 1 during a confrontation.

Option 3: There’s the fake-friend option where you’re so sorry but you’re so busy with your wedding you have no time for hers and omg, you know how important this is to her, you’re so sorry.  This may lead to further aggravation since you’re not confronting the main issue you have with her.

Anyway, the real question is, do you still want to be friends with this girl and how much of a proverbial bloodbath do you want if you decide you’re done?

That said, stop telling her things about your wedding.  It doesn’t look like it’s been working so well thus far.

Post # 4
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

March 2014 is a long time from now, so she has plenty of time to find someone else. But your friendship with her will be over if you back out, so be prepared for that.

Post # 6
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@miss-e:  It’s gonna be messy no matter what.  I’m sorry.

The only difference will be if you give her a bunch of reasons to use for fodder for others to say “oh you poor thing, she really is a bitch” or if it’s all just psychological and not out there for the world to see.

Honestly, my worst “friend break up” was when it was more of a “okay we’re done.”  I flat out said I didn’t trust her, she said she disagreed with why I was upset, I said I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get past it, we wished each other well, the end.  No major closure moment, a lot of “oh I wish I had just said X to her” but honestly, nothing that will make college reuinions super awkward or anything that she can blab to people about for sympathy.

Post # 8
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@miss-e:  Just wargame in your head what you’re going to say and have some plans for if she starts yelling, or crying, or whatever.  It makes it easier.

Post # 9
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Women can be so terrible.  My former best friend of ten years (mmhmm) was supposed to get engaged December 2009 (she suspected it as he was dropping hints) to her boyfriend of seven years but never did, and a few months later my husband proposed to me.  Instead of being happy for me or congratulating me, she didn’t even show up to my wedding and not once did she ever congratulate me or comment on my ring, nothing.  After that, our other friend got a promise ring from her boyfriend after just a year, she flipped out.

 

Needless to say, we are no longer friends even though I’ve forgiven her and tried to make amends.  It’s been three years.

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