Post # 1
Wedding planning has been somewhat smooth up until now….when all of a sudden the fiance decided to add 10 more guests + dates to our list of 400! I’ve been checking it twice with my guests that I am including and cutting people who I wouldn’t be sad if I was to cut them..so I’m a bit upset over the fact that the fiance didn’t discuss it with me first before he add people, and not to mention that he invited this particular person that I nor dislike or like. I just don’t think she’s significant enough in our lives to include her and her date being an ex coworker (she’s sleeping with his bestfriend and I don’t mind if she came as his date, but I DO NOT want to extend an invite to her). Am I being completely crazy? Should I tell the fiance how I feel or just let it go. Just the thought of her as invited guest is making me want to cry! argh!
Post # 3
If it’s making you cry, I’d discuss it. Have these invitations actually gone out yet?
Post # 4
Added as in already told them they are invited or just put them on your tentative list? If he just put them on a list, definitely talk to him about it and say how everyone is going to need to make a few cuts to keep the list at a reasonable number, would he consider cutting some of them. It is certainly worth the discussion.
Post # 5
talk, talk, talk. find out why he added her. tell him how you feel. be logical though, not all emotional. sometimes guys miss the emotional stuff. come at him with the the per head cost, ect.
Post # 6
Thanks everyone! No, he went ahead and called everyone he knows, no matter that it was an acquaintance that he didn’t have on the list already for addresses to send our save the date. I don’t know what he was thinking!
I asked him if it was necessary to invite her, but all he could say was that he occasionally talked to her through emails. I know he’ll get all defensive if I ask him to not invite her (he’s known to be TOO generous), so he’ll brush it off like we can afford another guest (only the reality is that we don’t). See, we’re paying for EVERYTHING, and the cost per person will be about $80 and we’re having 400+ (still hoping to get no response), but $80 to him is nothing but money (i’m marrying a very foolish guy)…I guess that’s where my frustration comes from.
He’s reasonable and if I wanted it, he’ll do whatever it is, its just that inviting this one guest will mean inviting a dozen more! I just don’t want to be the bad guy and ask him to not invite her. I never really got too close to her either because of her lifestyle. But foremost, inviting her will make my current coworkers feel bad since i’m closer to them than her. His friend doesn’t want to bring her as his guest.
Post # 7
Totally worth discussing! You might be suprised at the outcome.
Post # 8
Occasionally talking to each other through e-mails isn’t enough to be sending an invitation to someone but that is just in my experience and opinion.
The best way to cut people on the list is to think, "If I were to throw this party again in 20 years, would I still want or care for them to be there?". Pretend it were an anniversary party or a renewal of vows. Would you? That is the best way to do it and it really helped us cut people.
Post # 9
My fi too had a female friend whom I really dislike due to her lifestyle, not meaning to judge her or so, but I know I am. I told him how I felt about seeing her around because they have mutual friends and he was very understanding about it. I think most guys are "generous" in the sense that they take things for what it is, as for we girls, we dig deeper into situations. I’m sure if you talk to your Fi, he’ll understand and will make the best choice for the sake and happiness of the wedding day. Wonders can happen through openness and honesty. If he feels uncomfortable calling her up to uninvite her, he can just email her, since I assume that’s how they communicate. Email also works best cuz it eliminates arkward silences. Better yet, he can follow the new trend of just texting her…
No matter what, cheer up. It’s your day and all the spotlight will be on you. Dont let one girl ruin the best day of your life!!! IF she must be there, just assign her to a seat that is WAY in the back corner where there’s no light. THat way, you wont have to see her face :p