Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor was in an accident several years ago already that caused some serious trauma to her leg. things were torn, broken, and put back together with pins. She’s never been quite right on that leg ever since. She just told me she had a consult with a new doc that thinks he can help her through another surgery that will have a 2 month recovery time.
My wedding is less than two months away in the beginning of August and she is scheduling this surgery for the beginning ones ing. Leaving a one month gap between surgery and wedding.
I am really happy for her that this doc thinks he can help her. But I’m also disappointed in her decision to do this surgery that has a 2 month recovery time 1 month before my wedding. Ugh! I’m a horrible person. i just wasn’t planning on having my Maid/Matron of Honor using crutches down the aisle or having a giant leg brace on for pictures…
i KNOW I’m being selfish and inconsiderate and I hate that part of me is upset with her decision and timing… But it’s true…I am. I didn’t and won’t say anything to her at all. But I know part of me will still think “ugh. Why couldn’t she wait until after the wedding, she’s waited this long”. Ugh, just smack me now.
Post # 3
I know WHY you’re upset. However, you have one day. People’s major life decisions (like surgery) do not have to be put on hold due to your wedding.
She’ll be there on your day and that’s all that matters. I don’t know if they have “cool” accessories for crutches, but if I were her, it would have ribbons and shit in your wedding colors!
Post # 4
@SkyChick: ***SMACK*** (But I did it with love)
I get that you’re upset and feel like the timing is horrible, it is…and being upset is fine, but until you’ve had a leg ripped to shreds and pieced back together with pins and rods and had muscles and tendons screwed with just so you can walk….only to find out they probably did it wrong and you can either live with horrible pain OR get it fixed again…that surgery can’t come soon enough….being ambulatory without pain is the priority…your wedding is a blip in time
Post # 5
As long as you just think it, you’re fine. Yeah, it sucks. But be supportive and thank the heavens that your friend is going to have a chance at getting a normal gait back.
Post # 6
@SkyChick: Hopefully no one will put you on blast since you acknowledge you’re being a bit of a ‘zilla.
I really cannot even understand *why* you’re bummed. No one will care if you have a girl in crutches or a boot. If anything, they’ll admire her for sucking it up and still standing. But my opinion doesnt make your feelings any less valid, so I don’t want to discount them.
I know you know this, but I would advise you not mention these feelings to her.
Post # 7
I think you’re completely normal for having these feelings- although I wouldn’t tell your Maid/Matron of Honor. It’s clear you’re happy for her that she will get to fix her leg, and that you realize you’re being a bit irrational. You aren’t a horrible person; these thoughts are natural. And when you look back at pictures, even if she does have a giant leg brace, she’ll still be standing next to you on the day you married your love, and that’s the most important thing.
Are you dresses short or long? If they’re short, maybe she can have a long dress in the same color- that way, it sets her off as the Maid/Matron of Honor, and kind of hides her leg brace a bit. As for crutches down the aisle- no one is going to remember. It won’t ruin the look of your wedding, or take away from you!
Don’t beat yourself up- we all think this way sometimes. The important thing I think is that when we do have these thoughts, we acknowledge them, but try to move on from them.
Post # 8
Hey I would be disappointed too! I think the fact that you realize that this is good for her and that you aren’t going to demand that she put off the surgery means that you are not a bridezilla 🙂
I had a couple things happen that I was disappointed about but I didn’t say anything. Honestly once the day came I just didn’t care anymore and was just happy that my Bridesmaid or Best Man could be there!
Post # 9
@SkyChick: this is for her well-being. and i hear that with accidents like that, people have to deal with a lot of pain and discomfort from all kinds of complications. i totally understand how you pictured your wedding day being like one in a magazine but this is reality. it’s a testament to your friendship if you support her through this.
i have silent moments like this and that’s when i have to dig down deep into my soul to bring up a lot of maturity to suck it up and realize that my wedding is not the only wedding that ever was. people get married everyday and things happen.
better to be able to celebrate with her here in a boot or cast than to hold onto your memories (she could have died in that accident). so just take it in stride.
Post # 10
Perfect advice PP, plus i like the suggestion above to add some ribbons or fabric in the wedding colors to help disguise the crutch a little more. Or maybe you could even make it so she could be seated somehow? I understand how you feel and I am glad that you are acknowledging that you may be overreacting. It just comes with the territory of being a bride. Just laugh it off and stay happy with the fact that your friend will be pain free and still able to support you on your big day!
Post # 11
She just found this dr who thinks he can help her. If she has big problems with her leg, its imperative for her to do whatever she can ASAP to get better. So thats why she’s doing it now, probably.
You already know this, but yes it sucks for your pictures, but on the other hand, this is life. It’s more important that she is a good friend to you and you to her than that she appear a certain way.
Post # 12
Please stop being selfish, its for 1 day your wedding is. Your friend she has her legs for her whole life.
As a person who broke her ankle last year and had not a fun time with it and have a 2% loss of mobility. If this makes her better than leave it alone.
Post # 13
@SkyChick: Maybe she wants to get it done and heal before winter? Maybe her surgeon is encouraging her to book now because it fills up? Maybe she wants to be recovered by Christmas, or for an upcoming holiday?
I understand why you’re have a bit of an “ugh” feeling about it, but logically, does it really make sense for her to delay surgery for someone else’s wedding?
Post # 14
I’m gonna give props to you for recognizing that you’re being a bit crazy. If I was in your position, I would probably feel the same way!
I agree with ohmybears48- just think it, and you’ll be fine. 😉
ETA: Ignore the posters trying to shove how horrible you are down your throat… Clearly you acknowledged you feel bad about these feelings, but they seem to forget that these are feelings, and you’re not looking to act on them.
Post # 16
@SkyChick: I brought this for you. It’s clinically proven to decrease bridezilla-assness by 40% with the first dose. Improved results from increased consumption