(Closed) Bridezilla moment!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Was my reaction:

    Appropriate

    Over the top

    Something else. .. please explain

  • Post # 32
    Member
    331 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @Ellegee  hahahaha I looooove this. I thought I was the only one that PSAd people–I annoy my friends sometimes : ) but I +1 your sentiment.

    Post # 33
    Member
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    View original reply
    @naturedoc1112  One of my guests is showing up with a total stranger and she didn’t even have a +1 on her invite at all. 

    Honestly, I don’t care– We are having a small wedding, and she is a widow. she’s very close to many of the guests, so I didn’t think it would be an issue, but when she RSVP’d she marked 2 entrees and write in +1 on her card– I don’t know who she’s bringing, but I trust her to only bring someone who knows how to act at a wedding, so if it makes my guest more comfortable, I’m ok with the extra plate. 

    Honestly– and I’m not trying to be mean, it is you wedding at the end of the day, so the decision is yours– but I would tell him you reconsidered and having someone there wont be an issue, going to a wedding alone is never fun– even if you know people there, I say let him bring someone so he doesn’t feel like a 3rd wheel the whole day. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    If I got this text message, I would probably share it with others in a “WTF?” manner.  At least you realize now that it might have been a bit drastic. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I get where you’re coming from, but that was kinda mean.  The guy probly just figured that you had two seats for him, he might as well bring someone else so he’d have someone to talk to.

    We had 39 people at our reception (photog included).  I invited all of my single friends with +1’s in case they wanted to bring a date or friend.  I did not want total strangers there, no, but I wanted everyone to be comfortable and have a good time.

    I was so glad that my cousins brought their SO’s whom I hadn’t met yet- they’re so much fun! And my college best friend’s new girlfriend (FFS I sent the STD to him and his wife, not knowing they were in the middle of a divorce), is so sweet – we’re FB besties now.  I wouldn’t have minded if my friend brought her booty call, either – I threw the party for them.

    So – if you feel strongly about it after considering everything, call him and apologize for being stressed out about all this wedding BS and snapping at him.  Explain that you want him to be comfortable but you’ve also invited *all these people* that he’ll be able to hang out with, and you’d like to be able to invite another one of your friends if he isn’t going to bring his girlfriend. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee

    “You made the short list of people we like”

    Okay, that part was just flat our mean/rude. If someone said this to me, I wouldn’t feel comfortable then going to their wedding. I think your reasoning for wanting people you know attend your wedding is fine, but your delivery certainly deserves an apology!!

    Post # 37
    Member
    1100 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Honestly, I don’t find it rude at all. And if a friend said that to me, I wouldn’t take offense by it. I’m not very sensitive at all though (not saying you have to be sensitive to find this rude) and it takes alot to rub me the wrong way.

     

    but by saying if you don’t know them they aren’t invited…so technically that leaves it open to he can bring someone you know and that would be okay? Or do you just want him to come alone?

    Post # 38
    Member
    1100 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Honestly, I don’t find it rude at all. And if a friend said that to me, I wouldn’t take offense by it. Bc it is your wedding and you don’t want strangers there, but you can’t monitor every guests “guest”. Ya know? I’m not very sensitive at all though (not saying you have to be sensitive to find this rude) and it takes alot to rub me the wrong way.

     

    but by saying if you don’t know them they aren’t invited…so technically that leaves it open to he can bring someone you know and that would be okay? Or do you just want him to come alone?

    Post # 39
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It was of course rude of him to assume he could just bring anyone in place of his girlfriend, but your text message was rather abrasive.  There are better ways of saying the same thing.

    Post # 42
    Member
    2692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I said something else… because he is your friend and you put the LOL at the end, I assume he’ll laugh it off too and not bring a random stranger to your wedding.  I would call him though and clear up the text so he knows you weren’t trying to be rude, just wanting him to know he can’t bring just anyone to your wedding.

    I am all for the more the merrier train of thought when it comes to parties but for my wedding, I have to have some control over the guest list which means some people won’t be able to make the cut. Fi’s friend asked fi if he could bring a guest and of course fi is cool with it but I am not sure.  He is a single 24 year old and not in a serious relationship.  I get he wants to have a date but it has to be in my budget for that to happen. I want him to have his date yes but not at the cost of busting my budget so we’ll see.

    Post # 43
    Member
    2693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    I can see why you think it’s inapprorpiate, but I also kinda think, what difference does it make if you’ve alotted a +1 for him anyway, thinking he would bring his girlfriend?  I had a cousin RSVP “with guest”, but her invite was only addressed to her, and she was not included in our headcount as being able to bring a guest.  We had my grandmother confront her about it, because they are very close.  That sort of think is rude.

    Honestly, I can see why he thought it would be okay to bring a guest, since you had apparently assumed he’d bring his girlfriend, it wasn’t like you just sent the invite to him and he just tried to bring someone anyway.

    Either way, I had a similar situation and did not have that reaction (to my cousin’s face, at least).  I was pretty annoyed and said several choice things to my mom while discussing it, but I would never have been that rude and condecsending to her face.  I think you were slightly out of line…over the top…you should be happy that he wants to come and celebrate with you, but being a guy he probably will laugh it off.  If i had gotten that text I would ahve been kinda pissed. 

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