Post # 1
This is just ridiculous. I like to think of myself as a rational person. I like to think of myself as calm and oh so zen. So why oh why does this dumb bridezilla thought keep roaming through my brain……
I don’t know the girlfriends of any of our groomsmen. I do know that the girls they dated in the past were mean to me. Ok ok I get that I am eccentric looking. I am a sort of goth/pinup type of girl. I have crazy hair most of the time. I have piercings. But does that mean it is OK to make fun of me? At one point, one of their exes exclaimed, when I showed up at a get togther with my FH ‘I didn’t know it was a costume party’. B*tch. Plus they were all trashy.
I am scared of them having this same mindset and judging…..but even more so, I’m afraid they are going to show up in skankoid dresses and piss me off. How dumb is that. I can’t control what the guests wear. But I can’t stop thinking about it!!! Has anyone else thought this? It’s sort of hilarious to me because jeez, of all the things I could get all wonky about. But….I mean, this is normal…..right? RIGHT?
Post # 3
Just keep an open mind. You stated you haven’t met them yet, so try not to judge. I can’t fathom anyone showing up to a wedding in a skankoid dress, but if they happen to, well then all of your other guests are going to be giving them the side eye and they’ll end up being THAT girl at your wedding. It won’t be a negative reflection upon you, it’ll be a negative reflection upon them.
GL and (((hugs))).
Post # 4
i can understand that you are feeling anxious about this given some of the treatment you’ve had in the past (i would too!). i think the best thing to do is just to let go–you’ve got other things to do and much more important aspects to focus on, and i bet on the day of, even if a horrid person shows up in a “skankoid” dress, you won’t even care. it’s easy to think that these things will cloud our day when we ruminate over them beforehand, but just remember that on the actual day of, things like that won’t even register on your radar.
Post # 5
Aww! That’s terrible that these stupid ex gf’s have made you feel this way.
Honestly, they broke up with those jerks for one reason or another & in my experience, every bf/gf gets better! You have to give these girls the benefit of the doubt & assume that they won’t be there to MOCK a bride on her wedding day! They would have to be completely tactless and awful, heartless people.
I agree w/ lavender– your wedding day is going to be a blip! The day is going to rush by & you won’t even notice what they’re wearing or if you do… don’t let it anger you and take away from your day! It’s really not worth all the stress…. you only get 1 wedding day, so make sure you have fun & enjoy it!!
Post # 6
I guess I’m also worried bc they will be at the rehearsal dinner….I keep trying to tell myself maybe they have nice girlfriends now….but from past experience, they seem to date based on looks instead of substance and these girls were seriously like the Plastics in Mean Girls. I don’t want to have to try to make conversation…..ugh. You guys are right though I’m probably not even going to notice them and I should give them the benefit of the doubt….
Post # 7
Yeah, just dont stress yourself over it. The hottest girls that are attending my wedding are actually mainly my sisters and cousins – so I really dont mind what they wear – lol. But I totally understand what you are thinking! I too would wonder! But dont let it stress you – you will be the belle of the ball & in their skanky dresses they will probably get drunk & leave early to party somewhere else ( I guess that might be a good thing) Good luck & dont stress over it!
Post # 8
Dammit you are the queen of this wedding! Don’t forget that.
If these new girls are as bad as the last ones just hold your head up high and remember that it’s your wedding day. There’s no room for attitude and you don’t have to dip your head if they piss you off.
Girls can be super mean. Don’t be intimidated by them. Be your gorgeous self, have confidence in who you are and don’t think twice about any snide comments.
Besides…snarky comments generally originate from jealousy right? Maybe they hate that you’re cut from your own mold and don’t feel the need to conform.
No one finds those comments or looks attractive – even the guys they’re with. A bitch is a bitch -totally not hot.
Post # 9
could you find a reason to get together in the next few weeks? Have a dinner with the GM’s and BM’s with their SO’s so you have an idea of what to expect? It might ease your mind a little. = )
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
I’m sorry you’re worried about this, I’ve been through it too with some of the current FIANCES of FH’s best friends… It sucks, I don’t get why girls are mean but they are…But since you haven’t actually met any of them yet, it’s probably not 100% fair to judge them quite yet and then worry about stuff! I mean, I’m sure you have enough to worry about just planning a wedding, no need to throw more worry on top of that about stuff you’re not even sure of, ya? Will there be any opportunities to meet any of these girls before the wedding, like just at a party, or out or dinner or something? Some of them might end up being nice…I will say, it is definitely easier to meet one of your FH’s friend’s gf in a less-social setting, such as the 4 of you going out to dinner or something, rather than with a huge group of people…Maybe you could ask your FH to set something up so you can get to know at least one or two before the wedding…But try not to worry about it, if they DO say anything, it will be bc they’re so jealous you’re getting married and they’re not…So ultimately, YOU WIN! HA! 🙂
Post # 11
Hey fellow goth. I’m totally on your side. Personally, I probably wouldn’t invite the girlfriends unless they were serious and/or I knew them.
Post # 12
@Miss Soon To Be: Aw thanks, that’s exactly what I needed to hear I guess…I just have to keep reminding myself, meanness is not attractive….snarky-ness is just jealousy….
@Rungurl & His Barista: I wouldn’t mind meeting them in a less social setting, so I wouldn’t be intimidated. But I don’t know how it would pan out, it’s been so hard even getting ahold of the groomsmen for the wedding, and they all live in North LA while we’re in the vvveeerrrryyy southermost tip of LA county. Not that far, until you factor in that my FH works nights Weds through Sunday and these guys wouldn’t be down to meet during the week….and we can’t really do weekends…..I guess I could go solo but that is honestly way to scary for me! We can try though….great suggestion.
Post # 13
I totally wouldn’t worry about The Plastics ruining your rehearsal dinner or your wedding! Nobody will be paying attention to them, and that includes their own boyfriends who will be focused on your FH and not even with them half the time.
Regarding the “skankoid dress” scenario – I went to a friend’s wedding this summer and one of the groom’s high school buddies’ Girlfriend was wearing like THE single most inappropriate dress I’ve ever seen at a wedding, or really anywhere for that matter. You could see her white, fishnet tights through the sheer dress, and then her BLACK THONG straight through that. The tube top of the dress barely covered her (clearly fake) boobs. The girl was a hot mess, OK, and all of us could not stop talking about it. Absolutely HILARIOUS. Point of the story is, it doesn’t AT ALL reflect on you or your FH if the Plastics show up looking like skanks. If anything it makes them look awful and provides entertainment for your guests 🙂
Post # 14
Kittyachi: LOL that sounds a lot worse than I was even envisioning. I guess that’s a good point….it makes THEM look bad, not us.
Post # 15
my eldest nephew is married to a wonderful, happy, smart woman but geez, when you look at her for the first time you think what a fruitcake! every other month she goes thru a phase, she can be a complete goth one visit and then the next she is a 1950’s wife complete with beehive and apron although the japanese school girl phase was slightly disturbing. for their wedding she wore a pink wedding dress with red doc martins boots. oh, she has tatts too… lots of them (ick but its her body)
yes people say things about her but she has a healthy ego and knows that the people she surrounds herself with love her for who she is.
dont let others make you question your self worth & confidence so if they have any bitchy comments then its says more about them than you
Post # 16
The unfortunate thing is they will probably show up in their skanky dresses and bad attitude – but you know what?! don’t let it get to you. It’s YOUR amazingly created, well-thought out day. If you sense any kind of negative vibe from them, just turn your focus elsewhere. I know for me, I’d need to get as far away from them as possible. They are YOUR guest and don’t have any right to talk smack.
I’ve found that most snarky comments from girls come from a deep lack of self-esteem. While it’s hard to be the victim of those snarky comments, I usually end up feeling a bit sorry for them, because it’s obvious how unhappy they are.
AND – even though this is on your mind now, I hope that when the actual events come around, it’s the farthest thing from your mind and you are captivated by all the positive and wonderful things surrounding you.