Post # 1
So I’ve been amazingly calm throughout this whole process. And believe me, it’s been a process. Everything that can go wrong; has gone wrong. My family has been a nightmare, arguing about the tiniest details, things that are so dumb. AND I’m calm. You see all of these shows, you hear all of these stories…yet I’ve never heard of mine and I’m looking to see if this exists out there.
Four years ago my Aunt got married, her husband to be had a conversation with my brother, (married for four years himself at that time) and my brother informed him that it is normal for the bride to be on edge for any period of time before the wedding, and like I said that’s not me…however, since the day we got engaged my fiance has turned into the most amazing jerk. My thoughtful, caring, supportive boyfriend turned into a selfish, self absorbed, absent fiance. He’s helped with wedding plans, more than I expected, but the day to day is a totally different world now. I’ve asked if he’s got cold feet, if he needs space, if there’s something I’ve done to make him react this way and he says no to all. I wouldn’t even mind if he said yes at this point, at least we’d have someplace to start working at but still….nothing.
Has anyone else experienced this with their grooms? Is this normal?
Post # 3
I am so sorry you are going through this! I know the best medicine for this is communication, even if you have to halt the wedding plans for a couple weeks just to see what is going to happen with him. If he is doing this to you, and not being himself, there is obviously something wrong, and the best thing you can do is just talk to him. If wedding planning stresses him out, perhaps you and your girls should take over, and he should limit himself to how much he is helping in the wedding planning area.
Post # 4
I can’t say I’ve really experienced that myself, but my groom was a bit weird about wedding stuff (wanting to do things, but not getting them done, then being a jerk when I’d bring it up and offer to help). He totally acted like a diva a couple of times, yelling at the hotel people to reopen our room block for his brother who spaced on getting his reservation, insisting that our rehearsal dinner be held in a specific room of a particular restruant (which was fine, since his parents were paying).
The best advice I have is to (calmly, and in the most caring tone possible) state what behaviors you are seeing and how it makes you feel. Talk about it in specific, objective terms (things a stranger could observe, rather than emotionally charged words). Good luck, and I hope the communication opens up!