(Closed) Bridezillaish to pick $65 BM shoes?

posted 10 years ago in Shoes
Post # 3
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

especially if the dresses are long, it seems a bit much to require the purchase of a specific pair of $65 shoes, unless, of course, you’re offering to pay for them.

to help nudge your BMs in the right direction, you can include the link to the shoes you found, perhaps with a few other options at other price points to inspire their search.  with long dresses, the shoes won’t show up in most photos and you’ll likely be so wrapped up in the wonderfulness of your day to worry if one or two show up in terrible shoes.

Post # 4
42 posts
  • Wedding: July 2008

I would suggest buying them the shoes if you can afford to.  $65 isn’t a tremendous amount to spend on shoes, but if they’re wearing long dresses it seems a little unfair to ask them to shell out for shoes that no one will even see.  Plus, really, how much attention are people going to be paying to them?  It really is kind of all about the bride

Post # 5
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA

If the dresses are long, I wouldn’t worry about the shoes.  My girls are wearing tea-length dresses and I just requested that they wear silver shoes of their choosing.  After looking at countless wedding photos online and in magazines, I realized that I never notice the bridesmaid’s shoes unless I’m specifically looking for them, so I think they are the last thing your guests will notice. 

If you’re still concerned about certain maids, maybe send them a photo of the shoes you like, and just say you realize these are expensive so you don’t expect everyone to get them, but this is the overall look that you think would look great if they see anything comparable.  I think that’s leaving it open for them to choose what they can afford while presenting them with an option that you like.

Post # 6
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Rainforest wedding, beachfront restaurant reception

For some reason I read the title of your post as "Bridezilla picks $65 M shoes" and thought this post was going to be about $65,000,000 shoes! So by the time I figured out that you were asking about $65 shoes (duh! my brain is obviously not working very well), my reaction was $65 is nothing! How’s that for framing  I guess it’ll depend on what your BMs budgets are like and how much their dresses cost.

Post # 7
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Bridezilla-ish? No…anal? A little. I agree with Cupcake. Silver and strappy is plenty of direction. And what’s wrong with them pulling something out of the back of the closet? I know I haven’t worn silver strappy shoes since high school and I don’t plan on doing it anytime soon.

Post # 8
202 posts
Helper bee

i vote for giving them a break on having to buy $65 shoes that you want. if you really want them, i would purchase the shoes for them or at least offer to pitch in half ($35 is reasonable). but you can always say, "i would really love it if you all can get these shoes but i know it may not be in everyone’s budgets, so im also ok with silver and strappy."  if they can afford it, they will happily buy it to wear on your day. however, if they can’t, it will give them an out. if you have already discussed getting shoes already, perhaps ask them for their budget ahead of time and you can stick to their budget. if they say up to $50, then you can just pay the overage (~$15 each). that might work out, and your bridesmaids will still feel that you were inconsiderate enough to check with them first. it really depends on what expenses they have already. if they are all local and do not need to purchase airfare, hotel or have an expensive bachelorette party at plan (vegas, etc), then $65 isn’t too bad in the scheme of things. however, if their dresses were pricey, and they have hair/makeup etc to pay for, i would work with them on the shoes. if you really really want them for pictures etc, i would offer to pay part of it. they are supposed to be your best family and friends, so hopefully paying a portion of it wont be a big deal.

Post # 9
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

$65 is a lot to spend on silver sandals, which many people won’t wear again. I like the idea of sending a photo of them and suggesting they get something like it.

Post # 10
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have you considered making the shoes their bridesmaid gift?  My sister-in-law let each of her maids design Steve Madden shoes in a specified color, and she purchased them as their gift.

Post # 11
177 posts
Blushing bee

Not sure how helpful this is, but two of the weddings I’m in require silver shoes. My sister wants the girls in similar shoes, my friend just wants silver. So my sister and I selected these http://www.dyeableshoestore.com/dyeable-shoe-store/sandals/riviera-colors-3–heel.asp

They also come in different heel heights. $47 isn’t something I wouldn’t spend on shoes anyway, and I think they’re really hot. I might end up wearing them again. 

Either way, I think it depends on how much your girls usually spend on their shoes. Some of us girls are known to spend lots of money on shoes and wear them once for one reason or another. It would definitely be helpful for you to pitch in half. $35 shoes seems like no big deal compared to $65. I would expect your girls to go for the shoes if you’re paying half and then you get them in the shoes you want. Win-Win. 

Post # 12
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I bought this shoe in black for another wedding; it was super comfortable all day/night and worked well with my long dress:


I know I originally said I thought $65 was a lot, but now that I’m doing a search for "strappy silver," i’m having a hard time finding anything for much less than that. Maybe you could send them to a place like DSW or Off Broadway that sells designer shoes for discount prices?

Which shoes do you like; could you link to them? Maybe we could help you come up with an alternative…

Post # 13
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Unless you are willing to pay for the shoes I would not ask your bridesmaids to buy the shoes.

To be honest who is really going to notice their shoes – besides you. If you want a specific shoe, you should buy said specific shoe. I would also advise against using this as your bridesmaid gift. Buying something that the girls don’t really want or need is not much of a gift to them.

If you are against purchasing them yourself, you may want to send around an e-mail showing them the shoes you like and getting their opinion. Or perhaps suggest they get something similar.

If the dresses are long and will cover the shoes I wouldn’t bring up the subject at all. By requesting a color and style you are asking enough.

good luck.

Post # 14
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Not bridezilla, but maybe asking for a bit much? While $65 is not a lot for a pair of shoes, it is a lot if they don’t want them/won’t wear them again.  If you have a long dress,I would just send out the suggestion and let it go.  In the scheme of everything going on for you wedding, the shoes being worn under a long dress probably aren’t worth making your BMs feel resentful….

If you really care, you should buy them.  But i wouldn’t make it their present as a present as it is really for you and not for them.

Post # 16
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2001

I concur with most of the posts above- especially since the dresses are long and there won’t be many opportunities for others to even see the shoes the ladies are wearing, I wouldn’t ask your bridal party to spend another $65 on a pair of heels. If you could stick to under $30, I think that’s more reasonable, but again, not really necessary. Something like these perhaps:


The gold ones are only $10! Black ones are $15!

These are $27 and have free shipping & returns:


And I highly recommend checking out cutesyshoes.com for some low-cost options. They have a ton of silver heels- but some of them have limited sizes.  

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