Post # 1
First off: I LOVE FI’s friends, for the most part. They can be obnoxious 20-somethings, but I still love them. They are my friends, too. HOWEVER, there is something I need to vent out to the universe. It is probably not a big deal, but it bothers me.
Fiance is so loyal. He loves his friends and would do anything for them; he is this way with anyone he cares about. He has a sarcastic sense of humor and teases us all, but his friends (myself included) are his family. He has made sure to be at every birthday party, bachelor party, baby shower, and wedding for these people. He does it because he cares about them and wants to be supportive. YET, when it is his turn, it seems people don’t make him a priority.
Several of them bailed at his birthday after telling us they would be there. We reserved a table at a restaurant; when they didn’t show up we looked like jackasses, because it was busy and we had this huge table haha.
THEN, his bachelor party. All of them were present when Fiance and his Best Man came up with the idea and date for his bachelor party (next weekend). However, 3 of them have now bailed for various reasons. 2 of the 3 have conflicts that could have been avoided had they thought ahead/made Fiance a priority (they knew about the conflicts at the time the plans were made). I probably shouldn’t be upset, and Fiance is not real upset or anything. I think he is just disappointed because he wanted to hang out with his friends, but it kind of annoys me. First, I am a little hurt for Fiance. But 2nd, I am also worried that the Best Man is going to be out some money. He put a deposit down on the place they are staying at, with the intent of splitting it so many ways; now these last second-bailers have put him in a rough spot. WHY CAN’T PEOPLE BE LESS FLAKY!?!?
Okay, that is all. End Rant. Overall, he has great friends, but sometimes they can be inconsiderate haha.
Post # 3
@MissSooner: I dont have much advice for you but these friendships your Fiance has needs to be a two way street. Not a one way street. Hugs to your Fiance. I have had friends who I thought were real friends but turned out to be fake. I for the most part have to always be the one to call my friends which is fine for the time being since my friends are in college or grad school and I know how hard it can be to go to college/grad school and maintain friendships but good friends make time for you/your so.. if they cant make time for you or your so then there not good friends
Post # 4
@MissSooner: my hubby is the same. So Loyal etc and although his friends are great and love him etc (sounds like your fis friends too) they can sometimes be selfish when my hubby would never be towards them. Eg they turned up late to our engagement party and kept leaving throughout e night to go to a party down the road. I thought it was so rude. But then they are all single and have no responsibility and no one to worry about etc and I just think it boils down to what people get usd to. Our partners are used to not putting themselves first all the time and to think about others when I think sometimes young single males are just unintentionally selfish . Just gotta roll with it 🙂
Post # 5
haha thanks for the responses guys. As always, Fiance has dealt with the situation with grace (and sarcasm). He took to calling one of the guys “Judas” ; he is truthfully just kidding. He doesn’t hold grudges. He just thinks its funny to call him out a little.
I was more upset than him. He had to reason with me. He said “some people are sometimes assholes. It is just part of who they are,” basically telling me we either accept people for who they are and be friends anyway (and don’t bitch about it) OR we go our separate ways.
Post # 6
And by “don’t bitch about it”, I mean we bitch about it to each other briefly but then leave at that and don’t cause a scene/spectacle : ) There always has to be some bitching. We aren’t saints.