Post # 1
This is the first wedding I have been invited to as an adult (read: as a separate entity from my parents!), and I am wondering about the proper etiquette surrounding gift-giving. I sent a gift directly to the couple’s home from their registry because I figured they wouldn’t want to lug a heavy pot around the wedding itself! It should have arrived before the wedding, and it had a brief note indicating who it was from and congratulating them. But I kind of feel bad showing up to the wedding empty handed. Should I bring a card to the reception? Or is that just superfluous? I know it wouldn’t be rude to bring a card, per se, but is it completely unnecessary/ unwanted? Just wondering what the “right” thing to do is! I also worry that this may be confusing if they forget to connect the (empty) card to the gift that showed up on their door last week. I want to be nice and thoughtful and not inconvenience anybody! Help me do the right thing, bees!
P.S. I’m not SUPER close to the couple, I’m more a friend of the family. So it would be a nice handwritten card, but nothing super sentimental…
Post # 3
@MadameX: Id give a card, and just mention that you hope they will enjoy XYZ gift along with a very happy marriage. 🙂
Post # 4
@Excited To Bee: +1 Sounds like the best plan!
Post # 5
I kept all our cards, so I would appreciate it if the note that came with the gift is just like a tag from the store with your name on it.
If you want to bring a nicer one with a more personal sentiment, I think that’s lovely, and most people have a spot to put them and someone designated to take care of them, so it shouldn’t be too inconvenient. If you want to reference the gift being sent ahead that’s probably fine, but I’m sure they’ll be able to put two and two together if they’re both signed by you.
Post # 6
Etiquette Snob here… lol
In reality there is no need to take a Card with you when you go to the Wedding. Especially so if you’ve sent a gift to them in advance (the proper thing to do, when one can) and there was some sort of card or enclosure included with the gift (Commercial Greeting Card – Store Enclosure Card – Your Calling Card, preferably signed with a quick message of Congrats) then you are fine.
BUT that isn’t to say you couldn’t bring along a Card filled with your “Best Wishes” on their Big Day (more so if you ordered your Gift On-Line and you didn’t have a chance previously to hand-write your Best Wishes)
In-fact, At most Weddings there is a place / space / container that is set aside for Cards & Best Wishes (aka a Card Box… but it coud be just as easily a Basket, Birdcage, Decorated Suitcase etc… something to match the Bride’s Theme)
I have certainly brought cards along on occasion… especially if it is someone I am truly thrilled about their Marriage, or we are close etc.
As I don’t just sign cards, I always write a note inside, so if you were worried about the confusion you could say something like…
“I’ve already sent your Gift ahead, but I just wanted to say how thrilled I was to be invited to share in your joy today. Thank you for thinking of me, and it has been a real honour & pleasure to witness your Marriage Ceremony”
And then whatever other bit of sentimental stuff… you wish to impart…
“Enjoy your Honeymoon in XYZ… we’ll have to get together for Coffee when you get back so you can tell me all about sea-kayaking”
Congratulations, Best Wishes, Love (whatever Complimentary Closing you prefer)
Personalization is the key if you are using a commercial card, and wanting to convey your honest joy etc.
Hope this helps,
Post # 7
i don’t think a card would be necessary, but you sound concerned about it so I think go ahead and bring a card. Even if you’ve sent a gift, the card is a nice gesture and I’m sure would be appreciated.
Post # 8
I love receiving cards. I would love it if you brought a card again…
Post # 9
@MadameX: You did the right thing in sending the gift ahead of time. I wouldn’t bring anything else.
Post # 10
Definitely bring a card or at least take time to write something (guestbook). As a guest, I would love to have the bride and groom read the wishes and personnal letter I would have written to them. As a bride, it would mean A LOT to me to receive cards and personnal letters from people I love.
Post # 11
I usually always ship a gift from the couples registry to their house before the wedding then bring a card to the wedding.
Post # 12
Thanks for the advice guys! I ended up bringing a card. There was no card box, though, just a gift table, so I kind of had to wedge it in between two bigger boxes… Hopefully it made it home with the couple! Oh well, they’ll at least have gotten the gift even if the card got lost in the shuffle.