Post # 1
When reading my wedding etiquette books, it seems like the proper etiquette is to send wedding gifts to the couple’s home rather than bring them with you to the reception. This is what I hope people choose to do for our wedding, since we are having it a few hours from where we live and it will be hard to get a bunch of gifts back. When I talked to my mother, Fiance, Maid/Matron of Honor about this, they said that they’d never heard of people sending gifts -they always bring them to the reception!
So now I’m wondering what is the polite, proper thing to do? We are going to a wedding this weekend, and I’m wondering if we should ship our gift to the couple’s home or bring it to reception?
Is it polite to bring a card with a cheque or money to the reception, or should that be send to the couple’s home as well?
Post # 3
Oh my gosh! I would never send a gift to the reception. How odd. We live 4 hours away from our wedding site, so I hope people don’t do that to us! But honestly, I wouldn’t address it. It’s too awkward to address and if there are gifts at the reception, well, cross that bridge when you get to it.
And if I was giving a card with a check, I would bring that to the recption.
Post # 4
I think people are going to bring the gifts that they wouldnt be able to send or feel comfortable sending like gift cards or money. Not too many people go out and buy a toaster or kitchen aid mixer anymore and they wouldnt want to haul it. if there are a lot of those gifts, arrange for your Maid/Matron of Honor or MOB to have them sent to your house.
Post # 5
It may be a regional thing but at all of the weddings that I have been to, the guests ALWAYS bring the gifts to the reception. My family especially think it’s rude to show up to a reception “with nothing in your hand”.
Having said that, if I am buying something off of an online registry, I usually have it shipped to the bride’s house. In that case….I bring a card to the reception so I don’t show up empty-handed. If I go into the store and purchase a gift, I usually wrap it and take it to the reception.
Post # 6
I would send it to their house. Thats what I hope people do for us. Who really wants to worry about gifts at a wedding!
Post # 7
I ship my gift and then I usually give a card with cash at the reception (for their honeymoon). I’ve lugged gifts from the reception to the couples home and it’s such a pain. But ultimately, you take a gift as it is presented.
Post # 8
I always thought the gifts were sent to the bride’s home (if they aren’t living together before marriage…otherwise to the couple’s home), whether it was cash or an actual wrapped gift.
The reason for sending gifts to the home is so that the bride and groom don’t have to worry about what to do with gifts during the reception and can just leave the reception and not worry about having to packing up all the presents, some of which are likely fragile, afterwards. It also prevents worrying about gifts getting stolen…and it does happen.
Post # 9
Send gifts to the couple’s home!
When you register, your online registry gives an option to have guests send to an address specified by you (though for privacy, the sites hide the address).
Post # 10
I didn’t vote b/c I don’t know the ettiquette. But I always thought that guests brought gifts/cards to the reception unless the guests (or couple) had to travel to attend the wedding. I never heard of anyone doing anything else, but I’ve never really asked or paid attention 🙂
Post # 11
I didn’t vote either because I don’t know what the technical ettiquette rule is, but personally I prefer having things sent to my home. Especially if the couple doesn’t live in the town where the wedding is, it makes more sense. It means there’s a lot less to transport and load into cars at the end of the night. But on the other hand, I think sometimes people feel bad walking into a wedding empty-handed.
Post # 12
@JamaicaBride: That’s exactly how it is in my area also. I would love for people with larger gifts to send them to the house though. That’d be alot easier on us. Plus, I want to open some early. 🙂
Post # 13
I think you should definitely send it to the couple’s house. It was so much easier to for us that way. Most people did that but a few did bring us gifts, big ones. Lugging the gifts in our car the next morning was so annoying, it was the last thing we wanted to do.
Post # 14
It is a regional thing, bc at almost all the weddings I see, there are gift tables. Seriously!
If it is breakable, I do prefer to ship it to the couple, and bring a nice card with a card from the store their gift is from inside and letting them know it is being shipped along with good wishes!
Post # 15
Whoops! I’ve brought a gift to a reception once. I guess I see why that could be annoying. In my defense, it was my first wedding. Now I just do cash so it’s not an issue.
Post # 16
I’m with the “it’s regional” crowd. There are gift tables and card boxes and every wedding I have attended. I would feel terrible shwoing up empty handed to a wedding. That said though, it’s also pretty unheard of to give an actual gift for the wedding, that’s for the shower. It’s about 99% commonplace to give the couple a card with money or a check at the reception. I know what the almighty “Etiquette” states, but let’s face it, etiquette is not everlasting, it changes through the years.