(Closed) Bring gifts to reception or send to couple’s home??

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll:

    Bring to reception

    Send to the couple's home

  • Post # 17
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I was shocked at how many guests brought gifts to our reception, especially since we live 3 hours away and were leaving straight for our honeymoon. As a guest, I’ve always had it shipped to the brides parents house which is actually what etiquette dictates. Unless of course they’ve set up the registry to go to their own house, in which case I’m not so old fashioned to object.

    If I’m giving cash I will bring that to the reception, however, sometimes I forget and mail it to their house after the fact.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1259 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would definitely send it to the couples home or whatever the address they have listed on their registry is! The thing is if they are going on their honeymoon right after then they would have to worry about what to do with all the gifts they received!

    Post # 19
    Member
    3968 posts
    Honey bee

    I think the polite and proper thing is to GIVE a gift.  🙂

    For DW’s – I ship.  For locals I like to wrap it personally and take it to the reception.

    Post # 20
    Member
    228 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Granted, I haven’t been to a ton of weddings, but I’ve never been to one without a gift table, either. In my experience, most guests bring gifts or cards to the reception, myself included (oops). Now that I know the ettiquette I might not do that anymore, but I will feel weird showing up without anything.

    Post # 21
    Member
    362 posts
    Helper bee

    I hope our gifts are sent to the house bc we’re getting married where we grew up– 8 hours from where we live!!

    Post # 22
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i send gifts to the couples home when i purchase off their registry.  if they don’t have a registry then i take it to the reception.  cards w/checks are always taken to reception.

    Post # 23
    Member
    278 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I have always seen gift tables/boxes at receptions and always just brought my gift (having no idea of the actual etiquette rules). Now that I’ve been at the receiving end of that, I much prefer the “send the gift to the home” thing. Less stress for the couple! But I think you have to prepared that people will bring gifts to the reception, and have someone designated to be responsible for them.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1631 posts
    Bumble bee

    If I buy an actual present from the registry, I mail it to the house and bring a card to the reception. If I’m giving money, I bring the check to the reception. 

    I’ve seen couples try to get gifts together after a reception and it doesn’t look fun. Everyone I know prefers if the gifts are sent to the house. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    Wow – this definitely must be a regional thing. I have NEVER been to a wedding where I’ve seen tangible gifts brought to the reception. I always see couples with a card box stationed next to the guest book – and since I’m one of the ones always with a card w/money, I drop it right into the box. There’s always someone stationed to watch the card box as well.

    Post # 26
    Member
    1300 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    envelopes? take with you to reception…

    actual gifts, send to home. its more polite since you dont know their plans after the wedding especially if they are leaving to go on a honeymoon right after or if the wedding isnt in their hometown…

    Post # 27
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Mail those gifts, please! Save brides & grooms all that trouble of having to pack up the gifts… plus there have been several occasions when gifts have been stolen from receptions.

    And to be safe, mail your gift either before or two weeks after the wedding, so that they don’t arrive when the couple is on their honeymoon.

    Post # 28
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I always bring or send the gifts to the couple’s home. However, every wedding that I’ve been to always has a gift table full of gifts, so clearly, at least in my area, I’m in the minority.

    Post # 29
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Every wedding I have been to, gifts are always taken to the reception and it is considered strange and unheard of to not do so, at least in those social circles and families. Even the prim and proper ladies in the family (and those who are acquaintances) have always seen and done this themselves.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1094 posts
    Bumble bee

    Send it to the bride’s home: prior to the wedding if she lives with her parents send it there; if she lives alone send it to her home; if she and her fiance are living together send it to their home. After the wedding send it to the couple’s home.

    At every wedding there will be guests who didn’t think ahead, or who didn’t know the etiquette, or who is carrying forward the party-going habits that they learned going to children’s birtheday-parites or who didn’t stop to consider how awkward it’s going to be for someone to cart the stuff home (not the bride and groom if they did the traditional departure-for-the-honeymoon right from the reception so it ends up falling to their parents or wedding party!) So there will always have to be some sort of gift table to accomodate those gifts — and unfortunately everyone sees the table there and it reinforces the bad practice.

    But no-one should worry about seeming rude by showing up “empty handed”. The bride, groom, and families are pre-occupied with other stuff and aren’t keeping score. People come and go, run out for a smoke or to get something they forgot from the car, so there are always gift-less people coming through the door. No-one really either cares or notices. The couplewill know, when they sit down to write thank-you notes. But at that point they won’t differentiate between the ones that came to the house and the ones that came to the reception.

    Post # 31
    Member
    8943 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think most people bring them to the reception unless they can’t come to the wedding.  Though I think most people will understand if you are getting married away from where to live and bring less things to reception that way.

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