Post # 1
Now, I’m not a mother, so maybe I’m in the wrong here. I just need some opinions as to whether I’m crazy or not for thinking this mother is crazy.
Allegedly, this mother brought her 10 month old daughter to a proctored exam and was told she couldn’t bring her daughter into the testing room. The mother says the daughter is breastfeeding and her husband couldn’t watch her. She also basically says it’s really unfair she wasn’t allowed to take the test, since the school caters to those who has disabilities.
This is my little letter to the mother. First off, kudos to you for breastfeeding, but I really don’t think you should be taking your kid to a test where other students are trying to take a test. That can be really disruptive and distracting. I would be uber pissed if someone showed up with their kid to class, let alone an exam! Second, if you knew you couldn’t leave your daughter alone for the two hours or whatever it was to take the test, why did you not try to contact the school to make alternate arrangements if available? You really can’t just expect to show up the day of and expect them to cater to your needs. Third, if the dad couldn’t watch the baby, did you really not have anyone else available at all to help? Even if you didn’t, I don’t think showing up with your kid and expecting entry is an appropriate response. Maybe instead you should talk to your professor about this “emergencey”- don’t blame the school for being prejudice against breastfeeding mothers.
So Bees, tell me… Am I nuts for thinking she’s nuts?
Full story: http://www.nbcnews.com/video/nbc-news/52262977#52262977
Post # 3
There have been a few classes in my college days where someone brought in a kid and one person brought in her little brother to class.
I have never brought my kid to class or an exam and I think it’s not fair, if need be I would skip class or make other arrangements. I completely understand as a single parent that it is difficult but it certainly shouldn’t affect other students. I was iritated when one girl brought her little brother to class and we had to change our lecture topic since it wasn’t appropriate for a child. I studied very hard for every exam I took so I would not like it if there was a distraction and I agree with you.
Post # 4
omg if I saw someone walk into the exam room with their kid I’d silently go mental. There is no way that thing would not make a single peep for 3 hrs straight. No thank you!!
Post # 5
A proctored exam? Hells no. That exam is set up purposefully to be watched and guarded. You could sneak notes in the baby’s blankets or on the bottle.
If you knew you had an exam, why couldn’t she have just asked the professor for a new time when her husband couldn’t watch the baby? Having a baby is not a disability.
Post # 6
This wouldn’t bother me in the least if it was a 1 time thing and the baby wasn’t being disruptive. I haven’t read the story, but if the school wasn’t willing to be accommodating, then what other choice did she have?
Post # 7
@MrsWBS: To think 5 steps ahead, possibly wonder “what will I do with baby during a very important exam” and then figure that out and act accordingly. It’s not like this baby appeared in her life out of no where the day before the exam.
Post # 8
@MrsWBS: She didn’t ask the school in advance. She showed up with the infant. If she would have asked, I would assume the school or the professor would have made an accomodation.
She even states that students with disabilities get assistance or specialized rooms. But those students have to have a well documented disability with the university. They cant just show up and say, “I have a reading disability and need more time to take the exam.”
Post # 10
Ridiculous. Last time I checked, having a child was a choice and NOT a disability. The very notion of comparing the two is insulting to those with disabilities, in my mind. I am a breastfeeding mother, and I would never think to bring my child to an exam. Exam schedules are published well in advance, and she should have found alternate arrangements for her child.
Post # 11
I have Type 1 diabetes, so sometimes I need to eat during exams. Because of this, I contact the examinations department prior to the exam, explain my situation, and make sure that they can accommodate me in a separate room during the exam, where I won’t distract other students if I need to eat. I do NOT show up on the morning of the exam, armed with food, and expect other students to have to put up with my opening of food wrappers while they’re trying to focus on their exam.
Now, if this woman had enquired as to whether she could do her exam under special circumstances and the school had said no, then that would be another issue. But it sounds like she just rocked up and expected the other students to do their exams with a baby in the room, which really isn’t appropriate.
Post # 12
Legally, she has a right to breastfeed her child anywhere she has a right to be (in every state except SD, MI, VA, WV, and ID), so technically she is within her rights to have the child with her while the child is actually breastfeeding.
That said, the child wouldn’t possibly be breastfeeding straight through the entire two hours of the exam. She should have at least gotten a babysitter to watch the child outside the room until such time as it needed to be fed and then dealt with it if that contingency arose. Even better, of course, would have been to make advance arrangements to have the exam proctored in a separate room. Her right to breastfeed needs to be balanced by everyone else’s right to be able to take the exam without undue disturbance.
Post # 13
When I was in college, a student at the university next door (we had like 4 right next to each other in the same city) brought his baby to an exam, but didn’t want to disturb his classmates… so he left the kid out in the hallway, in the carrier.
Needless to say, the police were called and wouldn’t relinquish the child to anyone but the mother (as obviously the father was too negligent to handle the child).
I think many universities provide free/ low cost daycare to students and staff. I know mine did, and I think they shared that service with the other schools in the vicinity. It was a very well-rated independant daycare, too. Just drop your kid off for the duration of the class – 3 hours isn’t so bad, and you can leave a bottle of breastmilk/formula/etc. with instructions there for the caretakers to feed them! It’s part of being a parent – letting other people take care of your child when it’s not appropriate/ not desirable for you to bring them where you’re going. :/
Post # 14
People like this piss me off. Apparently, she thinks her right to not have to find other childcare for her baby supercedes everyone’s right to take the exam without the interruption of her precious infant. It’s insulting of her to also compare her situation with that of someone who is disabled. She never asked for accomodation, and she could have found childcare in advance which would have relieved her of her perceived “disability.” A disabled person don’t get such breaks.
Post # 15
Yeah, universities make accomodations for things like this, but not with no notice. I know in my state, if you take the bar exam, they have specific rules about breastfeeding and allow you to leave the exam to do so and then return. But you can’t have a baby IN the exam room. No way. No how. That’s ridiculous (and I’m a breastfeeding mom).
Post # 16
Also, if the reason she brought the baby was because her husband couldn’t watch her, then she’s clearly willing to pump and leave a bottle, so her problem is a babysitting problem, not a nursing problem (if she’d said the baby won’t take a bottle, it’d be different, but she would still have needed to contact htem in advance).