Post # 1
Member
5 posts
Newbee
- Wedding: April 2019 - The Edge of Webster
Hey gals. Here’s my dilemma:
My fiance has a number of friends he’s invited who have small children. He thinks that most of them will be able to find sitters/won’t want to bring them, however, on our save the dates we just put the couples “& family” because we know some probably won’t be able to afford sitters and we really want everyone to be able to come, kids or no kids. Of course, it wouldn’t be fair or polite to only allow some families to bring kids and others to not.
So now I’m making our invites and I know most people will write something like “there are __ seats reserved in your honor”, however, I really don’t want those families with several kids to feel like they *need* to bring their them out of politeness because “there’s a seat reserved for them”.
Is there a better way to word it? Should we just talk to them in person about it? Also, my RSVP will be online but I’m sending a card to direct them to the site.
Thanks!
Post # 2
Member
8863 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
hisandhernandez19 : I don’t think it’s accurate that most people include the number of seats. That’s actually a new development that some couples use to try to prevent people from adding more people than are actually invited. In your situation I would skip it and just use the standard wording.
Post # 3
Member
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
some options – all assuming parents and children are invited by name (fallback would be “and family”)
1. __ out of __ guests will attend.(You fill in the second blank.)
2. We have reserved ___ seats in your name
M___________________________________________
___graciously accepts ___ regretfully declines
____ number attending
3. Number of guests attending _______
You might want to think about adding a spot for them to indicate the ages of the children,or asking hem to indicate if they need high chairs, booster seats , or an extra chair for a baby carrier.
Post # 4
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
If you put there are x amount of seats they could bring all and sundry to your wedding, I’ve known people just add names to rsvps in the past for friends wedding. My friend invited her aunt and uncle, her aunt rsvp’d and added her three kids names to the rsvp as well as theirs.
Therefore I’d put the kids names on the invite so it’s specific and they know exactly who is invited.
Then on the rsvp get them to indicate whose coming and if they need a kids meal high chair etc…
Post # 5
Member
4568 posts
Honey bee
Most invitations I’ve ever received have not had X seats reserved on it. In fact, I’m not even sure any.
That is pretty much a modern invention by people who don’t want children at their wedding as a workaround to try to be less rude about saying “No children” since it would be rude to actually say that on the invitation.
Since you are inviting children, I would not put that.
The traditional way is you address the invite to everyone who is invited by name (so children, too – not just “and family”). They reply back with however many people will be attending.
Post # 6
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
I would add something like “please let us know if your children will be attending with you”. I agree that putting down a number of reserved seats would actually seem like they have to and are expected to attend.
Post # 7
Member
5 posts
Newbee
- Wedding: April 2019 - The Edge of Webster
Thank you! A lot of good comments that make sense and help me get an idea of how to word things. I appreciate it!
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