(Closed) Bringing non-romantic plus ones?

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I feel that all my guests should be allowed a +1 (not a popular opinion, I know) and it doesn’t matter to me whether or not they would bring a romantic partner or not.  When I was single, I did attend a wedding and brought a female friend as a plus one.  I have also gone alone without a guest.

Some people do not like to attend weddings alone and if bringing someone – no matter the relationship – makes them feel better then who am I to judge?

Post # 3
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

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liaeona:  If you invite someone with a plus one they can bring anyone they choose. I say no big deal since you gave them the option. I’ve been to a wedding as a plus one to a friend. No harm. Sometimes if you don’t think you’ll know a whole lot of people, you want to bring someone you know you’ll have fun with. There is no rule that a plus one has to be a romantic partner.

Post # 4
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I agree with

View original reply
sunnierdaysahead2: 

We are giving all guests a +1. I don’t care if they are in a romantic relationship with the person they are brining. It’s not about romance, it’s about my guests being comfortable and having a good time at my wedding. It doesn’t really matter. I’ve attended weddings alone and it sucks, regardless of how many other people you know at the wedding. We want everyone to have fun at our wedding.

Post # 5
Member
3323 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

A +1 is only suitable when someone is not a relationship. If a person is in a relationship their SO should be invited by name. So, by giving them a +1 you are giving them free reign on whoever comes. They could bring in a hobo off the street for a nice meal, and you said it was ok (by giving the +1). I think it’s fine to invite truly single people alone, however it’s nice to accomodate a partner for them if you have the $ and space.

Post # 6
Member
1528 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s quite insulting to say a guest with a +1 invite can only bring a romantic partner. It’s like you’re punishing them for not having a girlfriend or boyfriend. 

Post # 8
Member
691 posts
Busy bee

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arquelle:  I agree 100% with this. We did the same. I wish more people thought like this!!! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2501 posts
Sugar bee

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liaeona:  at a time when i was single, i brought my sister to a wedding with me. basically, the purpose of a +1 is to allow a guest to bring someone else with them so that they know someone/have at least one person to hang out with. doesn’t seem like it should matter as to what their relationship is.

Post # 10
Member
14019 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I am with your Fiance and think that other than an elderly person who needs help driving etc. it is assumed by many or most that  you are inviting someone to bring a “date” as in someone you are seeing, even casually. Otherwise, there’s no reason someone can’t come by themselves.

People should not need a social crutch to attend. Weddings can actually be a good place for singles to meet people. It’s up to the host to seat people accordingly, make introductions, etc. 

Post # 11
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

I agree wedding party should have +1 and any guests who wouldn’t really know anyone. It sucks going to a wedding alone where you don’t know anyone. Why pay all that money for them to not enjoy themselves or probably leave early?

Post # 12
Hostess
5038 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2016

I don’t have a problem with this. We only did this for one guest because she’s travelling very far and she will likely take a guy friend whom we’ve met a couple times. If she was bringing a rando, I still wouldn’t mind because I gave her a plus one. However, if I invite my friend Miss Smith and her SO Mr. Jones and they break up, I’d be irritated if Miss Smith thought she could bring a stranger without asking us first.

Post # 13
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
sunnierdaysahead2:  
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arquelle:  Yup! Us too! Especially for older folks who no longer have a spouse, they may want someone to drive them and enjoy the wedding with them. Also, as someone who has social anxiety if I was single and not sure if I would know anyone else besides the bride or groom I may not want to go at all if my only choice was to go alone. Or I may totally have a panic attack pre-reception. 

Post # 14
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

If you ask me, “plus one” means “plus anyone you darn well want to bring!” If someone’s SO is invited by name, then no, that person can’t just substitute a different plus one. But if you’re just giving them an “and guest,” then they get to choose the guest. When DH and I were living together, but not engaged yet, I was invited to a wedding “plus one.” DH couldn’t get away from work that weekend, so I brought my sister. I was really grateful to have someone I knew there! (Other than my sister, I was really only friends with the groom. I knew the bride and the groom’s family and best man a little bit, but they were all busy of course.) I was really grateful to be able to do that.

Post # 15
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I guess I never thought of weddings as a “date only” occasion.  But I’ve been going to weddings since childhood.  Maybe it depends on the “feel” of your wedding?  Obviously I understand for some children aren’t appropriate or would be bored to death…but honestly, I’ve either never had a SO or was single at 99% of the weddings I’ve been to.  I’m there to support the bride and groom sure, but if they gave me a plus one, I have happily taken my sister or gone with my mom.   And I’ve been part of the group of people who (often attending alone) trickle out early because they have no one to talk to or the conversations ran dry…

It never occurred to me that plus ones should only be a romantic interest.  Honestly, most guys I’ve dated would have been weirded out to be my date to a wedding unless we’d been together for a while!  & To be honest, most brides and grooms don’t even remember exactly who showed up if it weren’t for seating plans!  Lol.  It strikes me as a weird control issue when I see these boards and to be honest — rather unhospitable.  Just because you may not mind going alone doesn’t mean the majority of your guests wouldn’t rather have someone else they know well there, too.  I’d hate going to a large party by myself if I only knew the hosts and knew I would be unlikely to interact with them.  Same with a wedding…

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