- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
I posted a few days ago explaining the situation I am currently in; if you’d like to know the details, free to read about it here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/timeline-conversation-does-this-mean-im-waiting-long
The short version is that my boyfriend said he’d like to be married in about two years, and that he knows it will take us a year or more to plan our wedding, so an engagement will likely come in less than 12 months. A few very helpful posters suggested I should be passing along information regarding what I want in an engagement ring. I know my boyfriend would not be hurt/ insulted if I gave him my preferences; on the contrary, I think he would be grateful.
I’ve decided I would like to have the stones from my mom’s engagement ring re-set for my own engagement ring (she and I had very different taste in jewelry, but I think it would be sweet to at least use the stones from her ring, even if I couldn’t see myself wearing it exactly as it currently is). She is no longer living, and made it very clear to me multiple times before she passed that she wanted me to have all of her possessions, especially heirloom items like her fine china and her jewelry. These things currently live with my dad in another state.
That being said, I get tongue-tied everytime I try to bring this up to my boyfriend. Should I be talking to my dad first, just to make sure he doesn’t have any issues with me using those stones in a different setting? Should my boyfriend have that conversation with him?
Most importantly… I just feel really presumptuous and pushy talking about rings with my boyfriend. I get really shy, and it makes me scared that I’ll come off as materialistic, or that he’s just not ready to have this conversation. What if he’s way ahead of where I think he is and has already done something twoards an engagement ring? I don’t think this is the case, but I am a worrier by nature. Finally, I feel weird basically saying that I expect him to buy me something (even though I know that is his expectation as well).
Any advice for ways to bring this up, or ways to re-frame my thinking to help me feel more comfortable with this process? I feel completely at ease talking to him about everything else, even about wedding things, but for some reason telling him what type of ring I want petrifies me.