(Closed) Bringing wine to a party that goes unopened…do you take it back?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If you bring a bottle of wine that doesn't get drank, do you take it back?



  • Post # 3
    255 posts
    Helper bee

    I would leave it there.

    Post # 4
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I personally would leave it as a gift to the hosts.  Unless of course they kindly requested that I take it back (if they don’t drink wine or had way too much or whatever).

    Post # 6
    434 posts
    Helper bee

    Nope. I would consider it a gift to the host for having us over. Especially if we were drinking wine that they provided – they are hosting and providing, so they get to keep it!

    Post # 7
    4332 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    leave it. if the host offers you the wine or beer back, (as you’re leaving, “oh, did you want to take the rest of your beer back? We’ll never drink it….”) then it’s ok, but never just take it or ask for it. 

    Post # 9
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    No, never. I would consider it a hostess gift and wouldn’t even expect it to be opened!

    Post # 11
    10430 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

    @chillinchillin:  Usually people take wine to the host as a gift. It’s the host’s call on whether to open it for the group or put it in the wine rack, IMO. I don’t get offended either way. On the other hand, if it was a clearly BYOB event that was specified and everyone knew, then it would be completely fine if they brought the wine for themselves, didn’t drink it, and took it home. 

    Post # 12
    10627 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Usually no, but it depends on the party.  If it’s BYOB, especially if isn’t at someone’s place I might.

    Post # 13
    9120 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    If it’s a really good friend (one of our top 2-3) we take it home.  We do a lot for each other in many ways and don’t feel the need to be super etiquettey (and vice versa!). These are usually casual BYOB affairs. 

    If it’s a pretty good friend or acquaintance, we leave it. 

    Post # 14
    9947 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    When you bring something with you to a Party it is “usually” considered to be a Gift for the Host… and if it is Wine / Dessert etc… then it is up to them whether they serve it or not (your choice may not match what they have chosen to serve)

    — — —

    The situation where this might be handled differently depends a good lot on regional custom… ie if it is the norm in your region that events are more BYOB or Pot-Luck… where it is quite common for every Guest to bring along items to “help out”.

    This practice is very common for example in Canada for House Parties.

    In which case a Good Host will have them available to all Guests (ie a Table Set up with Eats, and another area set up with Drinks).

    In which case, the one who brought their items to be shared / enjoyed by others normally… leaves them there at the end of the evening… and the Host will return any Casserole Dishes & the like to the Contributors when everything has been cleaned up.

    The one exception being if the Host insists that Leftovers be taken home…

    If the Host didn’t make that insistence at the end of the night… then as I said above… you’d leave things for your Hosts to return any containers to you at their leisure.  And when it comes to a Bottle of Wine that didn’t get opened, ya you’d leave that as a Thank You / Hostess Gift for them.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 15
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would leave it – we frequently go over to friends’ houses and bring a case of beer or bottle of liqour/beer and we just leave the rest. And then when we have people over, they do the same. That’s the benefit of hosting – you get a lot of leftovers 😉

    Post # 16
    1277 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I have some very close friends who I know do not drink wine at all. Therefore if it was their house I would take the wine as it wouldnt make a great hostess gift. Ive had people bring bottles of liquor to our house and they know we dont drink hard liquor so they take the rest when they leave and Im totally fine with that. I guess it just depends on the type of event and how close I am to the person. 

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