Post # 1
Been dating this guy for a little over 2 years, he is not a bad person but really really broke. His parents doesn’t support him, doesn’t have a decent job, always looking for a new job. Try to tell him to do something, and I get a leave me alone.
I literally pay for everything. I spent more than $10,000 on this dude in 2 years, the first year we got together he gave me a teddy bear and flowers then nothing. He always says ” I do so much for you, clean the house blah blah blah” and I tell him how much money I spent on him, and then he’s always like “I’m useless i can’t do anything right. can’t make you happy……”
I want to get out of this dying, toxic relationship so bad but he always get suicidal and say things like you just want to leave me, I don’t have anyone to live for anymore, and gets suicidal. I’m so drained, he punches the wall when gets mad, slams the door on me all the time because of something I did or said. Little things I say triggers him, yet he says he loves me.
I don’t know who to go to when things like this happen, my parents want me to leave him before we even started dating, should’ve listened. No one cares how I feel, everyone in my life think I treated him wrong when they don’t even know the whole story.
Help me… Some advice please
Post # 2
Threatening you with suicide is abuse. As unfortunate as it is, sometimes the best thing you can do is tell someone he is close with about his suicidal statements, offer to help him get help by giving him hotlines or a number to a psychologist, and just leave. You cannot let your mental state deteriorate because of his issues. Just make sure you do what you can to let people who are close to him know that he is making these statements and also leave some resources for him so that help is readily available. Additionally, if you leave and truly worry for his safety, there is an emergency hotline you can call and they will come to him. Good luck!
Post # 3
This guy is not ready for a relationship and maybe never will be. Run.
Post # 4
jjem : It’s pretty shitty to threaten suicide just to keep you from leaving.
You should 100% leave this guy, he has serious issues, if you’re concerned that he is actually going to harm himself contact his parents and let them deal with him.
Post # 5
All of a sudden being suicidal when you make a stand for you or you make him unhappy is emotional manipulation and that is abuse. I agree with the previous posters, this is not healthy and your mental health is important too.
Post # 6
jjem : if you want to break up with him, break up with him. Full stop. If he threatens to kill himself, and you believe he is serious and not saying it to be manipulative, then call the police.
Post # 7
*comment moderated for violation of TOS*
Post # 8
When he threatens suicide, call 911. Let the experts deal with him. If he’s for real, they are equipped and trained to take care of the situation. If he’s faking, he won’t be doing that again any time soon.
Even though logic dictates that he is manipulating you, all suicide talk must be taken seriously. Let the qualified professionals take over.
He is not your responsibility.
Post # 9
kellybride09 : Uhhh no, lots of people threaten suicide and then go through with it including my step sister. Stop spreading this misinformation!
Post # 10
mel2 : Not people who do it habitually and in manipulative situations like this.
Post # 11
You have no idea WTF you’re talking about. Stop it.
Post # 12
This sounds so eerily similar to my last relationship — guy couldn’t hold down a job, I paid for everything and also spent about $10,000 on him in 2 years (and then more after, because I was with him for over 4.5 years), he threatened suicide when we broke up. I ended up calling the police to check on him, and they took him to the hospital on a psychiatric hold. Let the professionals deal with this. You do not need to sacrifice your own happiness in order to protect his. That’s not healthy, and it’s not your responsibility. It sounds like you know what you need to do, so even though it might get kind of ugly, I think you need to bite the bullet and break up.
Post # 13
kellybride09 : You are 100% wrong. Please stop embarassing yourself.
Post # 14
jjem : If he is going to try to kill himself, he will do it whether you stay or go. If he’s not, then he won’t, whether you stay or go. You are not responsible for his behavior or his mental health. If you leave and he kills himself, it is not your fault any more than if you had stayed and he killed himself. You can’t stop him. At the most, you might delay it a bit, but at what cost to you? He is manipulating you. Also, the punching walls thing is a precursor to physical abuse. It’s meant to scare you and threaten that you could be next if you don’t behave yourself.
You don’t deserve this and you should not put up with it. Sadly, since you can’t change him or his behavior, the way to not put up with it is to leave. If you stay with him, this is what the rest of your life will be like.
Post # 15
Post a link to a credible source that supports your asinine theories.
My first job in mental health was on a crisis hotline; I have had quite a lot of training and experience in suicide prevention. You could not be more wrong and I will not allow you to post this nonsense unchallenged.