(Closed) Broke Newlyweds….Just Commiserating

posted 5 years ago in Money
  • poll: How much debt do you have / did you have as newlyweds?
    $0 - 10,000 : (59 votes)
    32 %
    $10,000 - 20,000 : (21 votes)
    11 %
    $20,000 - 50,000 : (22 votes)
    12 %
    $50,000 - 75,000 : (3 votes)
    2 %
    $100,000 + : (7 votes)
    4 %
    Student Loans! : (46 votes)
    25 %
    Mortgage! : (24 votes)
    13 %
    Down on our luck! : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Went overboard on wedding! : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    12973 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Fiance went to a very pricey law school, so we’ll be dealing with that for many years to come.  Sometimes I think it’ll never go away… but we’ve budgeted for his loan payments and it shouldn’t be a burden, unless there’s a job loss..

    Good luck! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5959 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @VioletSky:  I find that every couple struggles in one way or another in their first year, either financially, phsyically or from outside influences of stress and strain….it will get better, and in the meantime, it’s ok to reach out to friends and family, not for money, but support.  I had a pair of friends that had hit really hard financial times, had to stay in a hotel with no kitchen, so we invited them over for dinner once a week, that way it’s a nice break from their stuff and their room AND you get to eat yummy food!

    Don’t be afraid or embarasse to admit times are hard, it happens to the best of us, and the ones that have been down the road before you can certainly offer support and friendship through it!

    Post # 5
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We didn’t have debt. If you’re lucky enough to not have student loans, or get married later after your careers are established and those loans are paid off/you have a nice stash in savings, you don’t stuggle as much as newlyweds.

    I definitely paid my “struggling” dues as an undergrad and grad student, though!

    Post # 6
    Member
    2719 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Student loans + a ton of credit card debt from being stupid. :/

    Post # 7
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @VioletSky:  Well we married in our 30s, and I was completely debt free and H only had the mortgage which is now “ours.”  No credit cards, no car payments, no student loans.

    However, in my early 20s I was po’ po’ po’!  I recall getting a $600 paycheck for the entire month and bawling my eyes out!  (I had no vacation days so 2 weeks of that I flew home to visit family.)  What a difference a few years makes!  It’s going to turn around for you guys – but you need to focus on wise decisions from here on out.
     

    Examine every expense you have. 

    Do you have iPhones?  Cable?  Internet?  Could your rent be cheaper?  What precent of your rent is your take home (your income plus the unemployment)?

     

    Can you look into student loan income-based repayments?

    http://studentaid.ed.gov/repay-loans/understand/plans/income-based

    Post # 8
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee

    @Nona99:  +1. This exactly.

    To OP, I totally agree with the reaching out for support. During our first year we had some pretty tough financial times, so we starting a rotating pot luck for dinners. It was nice to just get out and go to a friends house. We we’re going to make dinner anyway, so it was no big deal to make just one dish to serve six or so. And, the laughing and interaction with friends made it so we had something to look forward to all week.

    During the weekends, we would pack picnics and walk to the park. There are tons of cheap or free date ideas on the internet.

    As for the student loans, see if you can consolidate for cheaper payments.

    You will get through this, I promise! The bee is here for support! Good Luck and hugs!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    8455 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We have about $130k total in debt (we’re not borrowing money for the wedding), but we just bought a house. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    661 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @VioletSky:  Girl, I hear you. I am getting married on April 16 and Fiance is due to move in on April 1. We too are struggling. He lost his job and has been trying to get a new one, but this is forcing him to move in with me into a TINY 465 sq foot apartment. I own the apartment and have a mortgage on it, so moving out and trying to find another place is not so easy, and doesnt feel like the wisest thing to do while he is not working.

    We are eloping to save money, and are having a low-cost family wedding lunch afterward. But I find myself wishing I could have a regular wedding, and I wish that we were moving into a house or apartment where we just have space to move around.

    Almost every conversation we have seems to center around anxiety, money, unemployment, small spaces and the lack of sex we are having.

    However I love the guy to death and believe that greener pastures must be ahead–you will get those too!

    Post # 11
    Member
    9541 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    No real credit card debt (other than what I put on it monthly), just some student loans right now (will be about $40K between us when we get married).  However, a lot of my spare money is going to the wedding/honeymoon right now, so it’s tighter than it would be if I didn’t have that to pay for.  I’ve had to purchase 3 plane tickets within the last month, so I told Fiance all he gets for dinner are my bean and rice burritos and mac and cheese for the next month Wink

    No house yet though.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2778 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I was doing great, we were all set up to buy a house and then?

    The house deal fell through, I was laid off and he is close to being laid off too.  My unemployment ran out and now I work part time for less than a third of what I was making at my other job.  Things super suck right now.  I’m hoping to pick up a new good paying job but I can’t seem to get one that isn’t a temp stint.  I’m done being a temp.  Everytime I get to a good place financially the assignment ends without a full time hire or I am laid off.

    So I’m trying to be patient and get an actual full time job.  With all the temp time I’ve gained a lot of experience.  Here’s to hoping.

    We have paid off some debt but have a good deal left.  I have student loans which are pretty reasonable considering but I am currently too poor to make payments on them.  I owe 8K on an older car, he owes more like 15K on a new one and together we have less than 5K in credit card bills.

    Things could be worse but there not awesome by anymeans right now.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Ayyye!  Broke newlywed, here!  The past seven months have been so hard for us, the hardest of our entire relationship.  It is so rough.  I am so glad you started this thread because I’ve been wondering if others are struggling the way we are.  I get on here and see these $50- $60K wedding budgets and I feel like a pauper.

    I have student loans, but they have no gone into re-payment yet because I am still in school for a few more months.  That total is around $22K-ish.

    Credit card debt is around $3,000.  Not bad, according to some, but bad to me!  I want it to be $0! 

    I am unemployed and DH’s work is not consistent or stable.  Before our wedding, we were “rolling in it.”  He was working 60 hrs. a week, sometimes.  Then, he took two weeks off for our Destination Wedding and when we got home we were immediately thrust into reality.  We were broke from paying for our wedding and paying bills before we left, plus travel expenses.  We struggled from late July to early September.  Then, things were great again.  Only to fall off around the end of November/beginning of December.  Darling Husband has worked, on average, one day per week since December 1st!

    It sucks!

    Post # 15
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @VioletSky:  Do you know what you spend on just food/eating/misc/auto/Rx/etc every month?  If not, start tracking every penny!  I can email you my spreadsheet, but I think only I can understand it LOL.

     

    When I was in grad school and cut my hours back, my mortgage was 47% of my take home, but I still lived on what was left.  So to put numbers on it, I took home $1922 a month and my mortage was $900, so I lived on $1000 without using any debt.

     

    I use PagePlus Cellular and it’s $29.95/mo for unlimited text and 1200 minutes (I never use it all).  They have plans that go as low as $10/mo.

    The topic ‘Broke Newlyweds….Just Commiserating’ is closed to new replies.

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