(Closed) BROKE UP WITH FIANCE. He is now getting married to a girl he barely knows.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Aww.. (((hugs))).  I know you must be going through a roller coaster of emotions right now.  You’ve had two huge losses in a very short amount of time.  And the fact that he turns around and gets engaged to someone else almost immediately has to sting, even if you didn’t want to marry him.

But from what you have explained, it really sounds like you dodged a bullet.  A year from now, you will look back and be so relieved you are no longer with him, whether or not he marries this other girl.

Post # 5
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@jazzyrhae:  

You need to just forget you know these people. They’re train wrecks. 

Post # 6
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Be glad you got away!

Post # 7
Member
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@jazzyrhae:  i’m sorry to hear about your dad.  i’m sure that your mixed emotions have a lot to do with that loss b/c you sound a bit confused as to how to feel or accept the recent engagement of your ex.

as for your ex, pp are right.  you have dodged a bullet.  be thankful that you are out of that relationship.  you cannot fix something that is that broken.  it might sound terrible but he sounds like a hopeless case.  i actually feel sorry for the new girl, even though she is a loser herself.  your ex is just filling the void that you refuse to fill.  he is trying to make you jealous.  just ignore him.  he really doesn’t even deserve any attention from you. 

keep yourself busy.  find some new hobbies.  make yourself some personal goals.  it’s sometimes hard to be alone after a breakup but you know this is right. 

“it’s better to be alone for the right reasons, than to be with someone for the wrong”

Post # 8
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

@jazzyrhae:  I agree with Neva and Mypinkshoes – you’ve clearly dodged a bullet. It’s soooo much better to be free of a bad relationship – free where you have the possibility to find the right partner! – than to be trapt in that bad relationship, fearing being alone. I think you know in your heart that this man is not a good man – he wanted to control and change you, your friends saw you losing yourself, and your father saw this man’s instability.

I think you should do everything in your power to cut ties with him (ask your friends not to tell you if he contacts them or if he talks about you, break contact with him and this girl on facebook or anywhere else you might interact, etc). Work hard to draw closer to friends who saw the danger in him, and who will support you in leaving him behind and moving on. Good luck to you!

Also, if you haven’t tried it already, you might want to consider online dating as a way to take your mind off this guy and remind yourself how many other “fish in the sea” are out there! It’s a great way to keep yourself busy and inject some fun into your social life!

Post # 9
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would be counting my blessings if i were you.  She can deal with him now. You will move on and find a wonderful man who doesn’t have these issues and always puts your first and adores you. 

Post # 10
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

The universe has done you a favor by showing you this mans true colors. Keep on ignoring him and time will heal everything else. You wouldn’t have been able to change the way he is and staying with him would only hurt you in the long run since it sounds like he has the emotional maturity of a 6 year old.Even his Mom knew you should leave him! Somepeople are along because they don’t treat others well. He has to learn to be a decent human being before expecting anyone to stay with him.

Sorry about your Daddy.

Post # 11
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center

It will probably take some time to not be hurt by this anymore, especially since you tried so hard to make things work with him, but…. you totally made the right decision in walking away and staying away. Stay strong! You deserve so much better! So keep ignoring him and tell your friends to ignore him as well.

ETA: I’m really sorry about the loss of your father. :c I can’t imagine how difficult it is to mourn him while being subjected to your ex’s douchebaggery. 

Post # 12
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

(((HUGS)))

Be so thankful you are out of that toxic relationship. The fact that they are getting engaged in such a short time is probably a sign that he doesn’t understand how to be in a mature relationship. 

It will get better. Surround yourself with friends and family. You have been through a lot the past couple months. It’s okay to grieve and still feel hurt. But it will get better! You will be stronger from this and find a man who is able to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Post # 13
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you need to find a new crowd. These people sound like wrecks, and you should be glad you’re not mixed up in that any more.

Post # 15
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I feel for you, sorry to have to go through this but it’ll pass… I hope you can avoid him in the future, you don’t need anymore encounters to remind you.

Sorry about your father. 

Post # 16
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You dodged a huge bullet.  Pick up and move on and forget these people.

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