You have the right to your opinion. I believe you are dead wrong. I wish society would drop this pressure it puts on women to fear not having a man around by some special birthday. Everyone has the right, at least in my country; to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The OP is not happy in this relationship and wanted to leave even before the man proposed. You’d prefer she stay in this empty relationship so she doesn’t end up single and 45? How short sighted is that? Life does not end at 45 (For most). When did being miserable with a good guy trump the possibility of truly being happy? Oh, that’s right, the 50s, when we couldn’t support ourselves. I feel like grown women still act like little girls playing little girls games. We are all sitting on the floor, in a circle, wishing desperately not to pull the old maid card from the deck, because surely that’s game over. Some of us keep that fear long into adulthood, and that’s sad. The OP said she has great friends and family around her, a great career, and somehow you feel her next big move is to permanently attach herself to this dying relationship. Why? Fear. That’s really all it is. You want her to share in your fear.
The objective of marriage these days is to find a mate she wants to spend eternity with. She doesn’t even want to spend the evening in the room with this guy! I think you should read the post
wrote. I’ve run into her story MUCH more than the version you are selling. Most people divorce because they didn’t pick the right partner Or married for the wrong reasons. That fear you sell causes women to make rash decisions, for fear of what the future might not hold, totally ignoring that posibility of the right fit. So you go ahead a keep wearing that shoe that’s a half size too small, for fear the store will never order anymore size eights for your feet. Better corns, bunions, and pain, than to have no shoes at all, right? Oh wait, the shoes she came in with are pretty darn good already.
Also, don’t mistake the “perfect love” to mean a princess movie. It means the love that is perfect for you. One that will bring you added happiness for many years to come. Something so good, that you are able to weather the storms and valleys that life brings, because you couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone else. Some of us here on The Bee have that. And many of us have been through many a difficult relationship and past marriages to get to where we are, so we know what “happy” looks like when we have it.
I don’t totally disagree with you, though. OP does need some reflection and soul searching, but that’s to determine why she keeps saying yes when these guys ask her. I’m totally ok with her not marrying a man that isn’t right for her, but if she knew this, she should have never said yes…again, and again, and again.