- 6 years ago
You’re not crazy, you’re human and honest. Though I’m not really sure what to say, especially since most PP’s have covered it.
I’ve been with my fiancé for 6 years now. The excitement definitely wore off by year 2. By year 5 when we were living together it was all routine. There are definetly days where I want space away from him. I am not always 100% head over heels enamored with him. And I’m okay with this. I refuse to give into this pressure of feeling ‘can’t eat can’t sleep without him’ soulmate nonsense. I feel like that mentality sets up unrealistic expectations for couples, I’ve known more than one couple who divorced early because they couldnt handle the mundane day to day life of marriage, and expected it to be butterflies 24/7. We’d rather be conscious of things not always being 100%, and be honest with myself and him that there will be ups and downs.
my apologies if you clarified this to him, but have you been completely upfront and honest to him about this? does he know how serious these second thoughts are? Maybe that would help you be more intimate with him.
I dont want to suggest you stay in a relationship where you aren’t happy or your needs aren’t being met. But do hope you are realistic about what passion and true love are. my personal (judge free) opinion is that you are being a bit too critical of your relationship and are expecting to feel a certain way. You can’t compare your relationship to other ones or society/wedding industry standards. There’s always something that won’t measure up.